THOUGH THEY TELL US ALL OF US ARE BROTHERS NEVER WAS IT TRUE

I practiced the piano and singing tonight for four hours. The last song I sang is one that is not in my list of songs that I am preparing for singing at this time. But I like the song very much. I found someone else likes it too...
..............................................................

..............................................................

Lyrics to Old Coat ~

Take off your old coat and roll up your sleeves,
Life is a hard road to travel, I believe.

I look to the east, I look to the west,
A youth asking fate to be rewardin'.
But fortune is a blind god, flying through the clouds,
and forgettin' me on this side of Jordan.

Take off your old coat and roll up your sleeves,
Life is a hard road to travel, I believe.

Silver spoons to some mouths, golden spoons to others,
Dare a man to change the given order.
Though they smile and tell us all of us are brothers,
never was it true this side of Jordan.

Take off your old coat and roll up your sleeves,
Life is a hard road to travel, I believe.

Like some ragged owlet with its wings expanded,
Nailed to some garden gate or boardin'.
Thus will I by some men all my life be branded
Never hurted none this side of Jordan.

Take off your old coat and roll up your sleeves,
Life is a hard road to travel, I believe.

The post below, I originally posted December 11, 2007. I have a series of posts that were duplicated at Zimbio from this blog. At Zimbio posts are categorized under a "zine". I created a zine, but no one can really find this one too easily...because Zimbio isn't geared to my kind of topic. You can click this post title to find my various posts under the topic which is

FEELING ALIVE: WHAT MAKES ME FEEL ALIVE…LIFE AT ITS BEST IS WHEN OUR PASSIONS LIGHT US UP, when we feel free to be ourselves without fear of rejection, able to trust someone with our vulnerabilities, connect on some level that we just know we are fully alive.

Two people had gone to these Zimbio "zine" links yesterday, so I revisited them tonight.


MOMENTS THAT DEFINE YOUR LIFE

Manet and his Daughter

When I listen to music, there is always a favorite place in the music that I love. Take Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, I especially like the 3rd movement, Adagio molto e cantabile and the 4th movements "other worldly" climax where the chorus comes in with the Ode to Joy. On any CD I have one or two favorite songs, that I play so many times that I think I'll ruin that part of the CD. I love certain scenes in movies or plays that only last a minute or two. And I am willing to sit through it all, if I need to just to get to those parts that I so adore and connect with. Or I buy the DVD and go right to that part.

And certain times and experiences in my life have the same loving hold on me. And my time in Avignon, France many years ago is such a stand-out in my life ~ that it will forever hold a special place in my heart and will share in the short list of the top best experiences of my life.

By chance or kismet, I got off the train in Avignon, France one day in the summer of 1974. And there I was in the middle of the Festival D'Avignon. And that night a stranger walked by me and asked me if I wanted to see something fantastic and I followed him inside to an outside performance of the Cuban National Ballet Company jazz dancing. It was a night that transcended limits of joy and gratitude to be a member of the human race. And that is special.

And this would never have happened if I lived my life safely and inside the "box" that I was raised to live inside. This happened to me the very first trip to Europe that I took because I was encouraged by a stranger I met on a train on Long Island who said he was a butterfly catcher. When in fact, he was a medical student at the time at Brown University. For six weeks, there I was on the best trip of my lifetime ~ by myself. When I got off the plane in Luxembourg, Luxembourg, I didn't even know where I was going next. Soon, I figured I wanted to go to Switzerland. Then every few days I decided what direction to take the train in next. In the end, I included Italy, Greece and Spain, back to Italy then headed back to the airport in Luxembourg, Luxembourg. I loved that fantastic 6 weeks of my life. The best experience! So grateful I followed Peter's advice.

..............................................................

..............................................................
The Festival of Avignon, France 2007

I love my life.
Source: ilovemylifebrothersandsisters.blogspot.com/2007/12/moments-that-define-your-life

Another post under this zine is the following ~

Boyfriends and Life
This previous post November 24, 2007, includes my dream of singing in public. But I have such a fear of doing it, that it had been something I hadn't done. But I began two years ago and continue now. In an week I am singing - one paying and not paying.

The post begins ~

"...Our loves are only symbols of an unknown immortality...

and what is supposed to be gone and past is often more real than ever..."
Cedric Wright"...Our loves are only symbols of an unknown immortality...

and what is supposed to be gone and past is often more real than ever..."

Cedric Wright

Click on Boyfriends and Life to read the entire post

❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

New Posting

..............................................................

..............................................................
Another version of Light One Candle

Deterring a Possible War and Genocide in Sudan

A message from George Clooney and John Prendergast.

"We can witness in near real-time and put all parties on notice that if they commit war crimes, we will all be watching, and pressuring policymakers to take action."

www.satsentinel.org

"The most important things belong first, not last or never."

Words of the Earth by Cedric Wright

If you want peace, work for justice

إذا كنت تريد السلام ، أعمل من أجل العدالة

Use Your Voice to Stop Genocide RI

Genocide will only stop with us demanding it - Our leaders have taught us this

President Obama: 202-456-1111 or 1-800-GENOCIDE

FOR FUN AND THEN SOME ~ WITH HEATH LEDGER

If you come here periodically, you know I don't just write about

genocide, although it is the most important issue that I do write of. Or Native Americans, which is also a vitally important issue to me personally on moral and justice grounds. Or politics, President Obama. Or social justice and important issues of our country and world are other subjects I include frequently. Some examples:

When Wrong Is Taken As Right
Ignorance is not bliss. It is just ignorance. And it can be deadly. Just ask the people in this story.

This Is Governmentally Sanctioned Crime

On Election Day (Did you hear the Announcement?) Leasing Utah Wilderness for Oil and Gas Extraction

And I don't only write about personal things, which I also do. Or write of Rafael Nadal. Rafa is playing tennis in France currently. I missed the match. Here is the bare bones information...

Round 2 Rafael Nadal defeated Nicolas Almagro 3-6, 7-6(2), 7-5.

Round 3

Rafa vs Tommey Robredo

November 12, 2009, Thursday on Court Central

The match is scheduled to start not before 7:30 p.m. local time
1:30 p.m. USA EST

In Doubles
Rafa and Juan Monaco lost 6-4, 5-7, 13-15 to Christopher Kas and Philipp Kohlschreiber in the first round.

Draw

Official Site

Tennis/Live/EventWatchMen

Watch it Live for a Fee

or Heath Ledger... another recurring theme on this blog.

My life is varied and so is my internet home. This blog.

This post is the satisfaction of including Heath Ledger.

Okay, I know he is not mortally with us, but he personally was never mortally in my life. So, for me he is as alive as ever in my experience. However, it definitely saddens me that he isn't still making his beloved movies and directing his first.

I include my latest video with Heath starring in it and also someone I now consider my friend although we only met on youtube has a couple I include below.

Posted this in the wee hours this morning...
.....................................................................

.....................................................................
Heath Ledger ~ Fever ~ Sung by Bobby "Blue" Bland
Okay this isn't perfect. I wish the effects at the end when they are fighting, then holding and rocking one another had turned out better. But it was fun to make and is at least acceptable. I am still on a learning curve.
Uploaded by me, ilovemylifesblog

True Confessions
Monday night this week, I woke up after going to bed very late only after a couple hours of sleep - I had been working on the above video and went to bed with it unfinished. The dream that I was having was the reason I awoke. I can't admit here what I was dreaming. I will say only that Heath was in the dream. I haven't remembered dreaming for a very long time. And this one "knocks the socks off me" - an expression. Here is the definiton that I just retrieved from googling ~ knock the - or one's - socks off: to have an overwhelming effect. (My bolding and italics.) At first, going back to sleep seemed the thing to do, but in short time, I realized I didn't want this dream to end and I wanted to be conscious of what was happening, so do I have to say, I stayed awake until I was satisfied with the ending? A little willful imagination was deemed happily acceptable by me. I felt good the whole next day even though tired, I felt ebullient (again a little google defintion for you: overflowing with fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited). And the next night - last night - stayed up all night long to again work on the video. Had some iMovie issues that kept me having to do it over. And tonight I told myself to go to bed very early. Well here it is 8:30 p.m. and I am still at this computer speaking to no one in particular.

I seem to have many readers who just come here, but leave no interactions. I don't get that, but certain things just have to be surrendered to.

I felt I had to blog about Darfur, which I did just before beginning this post. So, soon I have to discipline myself and get me back to that bed where I dreamed of Heath.

Text from my Youtube sidebar:
Some just are born with something special and that quality doesn't go unnoticed by many. Heath presented us with something special to savor. One of the things enjoyed here is his special sex appeal. Those who have it, underwhelm us with their outward awareness that would show they know they have it. It is part of the charm and what makes them so undeniably a magnet for our hearts.

I don't smoke and don't encourage it, although it may appear that I do in this video I put together. It is simply that Heath smoked in "I'm Not There" quite a bit and at the same time he was delivering the "Fever".

"I'm Not There" cast

Pictures of Heath arriving during day 7 of the 64th Venice Film Festival on September 4, 2007 in Venice, Italy. Where one of three of his films opening there was I'm Not There These photos are at Zimbio, which always gives the photographers credit.

I have been to Venice, so I at least can feel close to Heath in that I have sat in these boats for many rides as Heath does in these pictures.

and at
heath-ledger-venice-film-festival

Help us get "The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus" in our local theatres in the USA. It is our last chance to see Heath on screen in a new film. Don't let us be left out. Go to this link to the-imaginarium-of-doctor-parnassus to Demand It.

And now for someone's videos who are always exceptionally good. She's got the talent!
.....................................................................

.....................................................................
Heath Ledger - I Did It My Way by Revolution Renaissance. The name of the album is New Era.
Uploaded by jopicca

.....................................................................

.....................................................................

Pictures of Heath Ledger with his daughter Matilda. The song is Happy Everafter in Your Eyes by Ben Harper, which was the result of Heath's request to have a song written for his new baby daughter.
Uploaded by jopicca

Johanna's Channel ~ jopicca

My Channel ~ ilovemylifesblog

Surprise Me!

Leave a comment

Be Well

IT'S MAY - ROBERT SCHUMANN'S ART SONG ~ PAUL WARREN ALLEN CONDUCTOR ~ NORTH CENTRAL COLLEGE CHOIR

MEMORIES WORTH REMEMBERING

Music is my Refuge
.......................................................

.......................................................
It's May ~ Robert Schumannn's Art Song ~ Paul Warren Allen, Conductor ~ North Central College
Uploaded by me

ilovemylifesblog

This text is from my Youtube sidebar:

This recording was done in the spring of 1968 in Naperville, Illinois, outside of Chicago at North Central College. Three years later the college eliminated the music department.

The women come in for the second Schumann Art Song which follows this song. The second song is Where'er My Tears Are Falling, followed with The Rose and The Lily.

I will be uploading more songs from this long playing (LP) record.

If you were a member of this choir, would you be willing to contact me? I would like to hear from you. If you have a song from the album that you would like posted here at Youtube, please let me know. You can leave a Channel Comment here:
www.youtube.com/user/ilovemylifesblog

or in the upper right corner of my individual video page, find the logo for an envelope and click on it, in order to send me a private message. It is found between "ilovemylifesblog" and "Sign In" or "Sign Out" (whichever is relevant).

Also, you may leave a comment below or email me here at my blog by clicking View My Complete Profile under the text on my sidebar of the About Me section.

I have talked to Maestro Paul Warren Allen's daughter. I sent a letter to him in January 2010 and she called me. He is 96 years old. And later, I received a note that he heard the youtube video. I have since posted another video - The Eyes of All Wait Upon Thee - which I may eventually repost to correct the size. Until then, the link.

The second upload is up.

Here is an excerpt from Naperville Chorus...
In the 1960's Dr. Paul Warren Allen of the North Central College Music Department melded the vocal talents of students, college personnel, and community members into a forerunner of the Naperville Chorus. The NCC-Community Chorus flourished and performed contemporary and traditional choral works until 1971, when financial cutbacks at the college eliminated the Music Department.

Photos, except for ten (4 of children, 4 of birds and 2 of woods' scenes), are from my yard in Rhode Island, nearby where I live on Aquidneck Island and photos of flowers I took at the National Botanical Gardens in Washington, D.C (where I have lobbied four times for Darfur, in addition to several times in the US RI Senators and Representative offices in Rhode Island).

One of my blog posts regarding Darfur:

PROVIDENCE OLYMPIC TORCH RELAY ON BEHALF OF DARFUR AND SPEAKING TO CHINA:
ilovemylifebrothersandsisters.blogspot.com/2007/10

The video portion within the Youtube video is from the movie "The Four Feathers". The actors are Heath Ledger and Kate Hudson.
Other youtube videos of mine featuring The Four Feathers...
HEATH LEDGER ~ THE FOUR FEATHERS ~ TRIBUTE TO FRIENDSHIP, COURAGE AND INTEGRITY ~ BROKEN ARROW

and
HEATH LOVE ~ For the FirstTime ~ Lover's Such As I
(this one is only viewable OUTside the USA)

The picture of me included in the video on my parents' lawn is the day I graduated from college at Huntington College ~ after I transferred from North Central College mid-way through my junior (third) year. Going to Huntington College is what eventually led me to live in New England the whole of my adult life. I love it here.


I am a bit tired as the Youtube video and me were up all night...not uncommon for me, while creating youtube videos...so no sympathy needed .

I just went through boxes of memorabilia I have kept over my lifetime...what a ball! I found some very interesting things. No one should have this much fun. Or maybe, everyone should.

I did find a bonanza....when I was a freshman I got mono in the spring of 1968. And many of the NCC choir members - 39 - signed a "get well" card to me before going on choir tour. And I still have it! The back of the LP album says there are 60 members and I count 61 in the picture on the back of the album (which matches the one in the 1968 yearbook/Spectrum).

I have many terrific pictures from the NCC 1967 music camp of students, Prof Allen and *Prof Izzo, also of **Prof Marian Schapp, and other music people and experiences. And I have a specially typed note to me from Paul Warren Allen asking me to sing in his Swedish Chorus in Chicago,*a personal note in a "get well" card which is precious from Bernard Izzo - a vocal NCC prof and Chicago opera singer, along with **many handwritten notes from Marian Schapp - my piano professor - from when I transferred from NCC to HC near my home in Indiana midway through my junior year.

So special and heart-warming for me.

A special picture of Conductor Paul Warren Allen by the pool at music camp before the freshman year started, standing beside a bathing-trunks-wearing svelte Professor/Chicago Opera Singer, Bernard Izzo. Do I dare post it on my blog?

Hmmm, so tempting....

This student, Paul K. Ferington, conducted while at North Central College for Prof Allen.
Paul is pictured here in this article.

Also pictured in the second picture here. and at Buffalo News ~ Niagara County
now married to Karen

North Central College Choir 1967-68

I am the fifth person from the right in the front row.
Karen is behind me, the sixth person from the right in the second row.
Click on the picture and it will enlarge.

A click on this post's title will take you to North Central College's website and specifically the alumni page.

North Central College Choir ~ Year 1968 ~ Members

38 of 61 members' names were retrieved from a "Get Well" card to me in spring of 1968

By cross referencing my 1970 yearbook which has a list of choir members (though there are some obvious mistakes found when I cross referenced the list with the same yearbook's indexed names in the back of the book), I came up with a list for the 1968 choir as follows:

Choir member list is still incomplete, however.

Laurie Batha

Marsha Benton

Dan Berger

‘Nita Bohnsack

Pat Bruns

Bob Buckley

Cathi Bertram

Mindy Cody

Larry Cooper

Joan Crosby

Sara Ebert

Joe Enich

Paul K. Ferington

Jackson Ferch

Geof. Geither or Guiter

Sandra Kay Hammel

Dennis Huff

Jim Knol

Karen Kosloske

Virginia Marek

Linda Mootz

Al Murphy

Nancy Myers

Lois Newcomb

Verilyn Potthoff

Sandra Schaeffer

Lydia Schmidt, piano accompanist in the video above

Sue Schwen

Barb Shiffler

Bob Stevens

Oliver J. Taylor

Julie Tunison

Sue Wayo

Lois Wedell

Doug Wilkie

Marlene Yenerich

Cindy Young

Eildert Zwart

UPDATE November 6, Friday, 2009 at 7:30 p.m. USA EST

Kim, the North Central College archivist, has tracked down the 1968 Choir Christmas Program's inside and emailed it to me this evening:

and also Kim sent the 1969 Choir Personnel list:

Click on the images to enlarge.

"Big Thanks" to Kim!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

See what was happening in 1968 the year this music was recorded.

Here are some of the things that happened:

* April 4 Martin Luther King, Jr. is shot dead at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee. Riots erupt in major American cities for several days afterward.


* April 11 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1968.


* April 20 Pierre Elliott Trudeau becomes Canada's 15th Prime Minister.


* April 20 English politician Enoch Powell makes his controversial Rivers of Blood Speech.


* April 23 President Mobutu releases captured mercenaries in the Congo.


* April 23 Surgeons at the Hôpital de la Pitié, Paris, perform Europe's first heart transplant, on Clovis Roblain.


* April 23 The United Methodist Church is created by the union of the former Methodist and Evangelical United Brethren churches.


* April 23 Thirty Vietnam War: Student protesters at Columbia University in New York City take over administration buildings and shut down the university (see main article Columbia University protests of 1968).


* April 29 The musical Hair officially opens on Broadway.


* June 5 U.S. presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy is shot at the Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles, California by Sirhan Sirhan. Kennedy dies from his injuries the next day.


* June 8 James Earl Ray is arrested for the murder of Martin Luther King Jr.


* July 1 The Central Intelligence Agency's Phoenix Program is officially established.


* July 1 The Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty opens for signature.


* July 4 Yachtsman Alec Rose, 59, receives a hero's welcome as he sails into Portsmouth, England after his 354-day round-the-world trip.


* July 17 Saddam Hussein becomes Vice Chairman of the Revolutionary Council in Iraq after a coup d'état.

A LOVE ONCE NEVER FORGOTTEN

.............................................

.............................................
My plan is to go through my multitude of personal journals written since the early 1970's and also my mountain of other writing and write a book or a series of books. My subplan is to write about my life in categories which will be chapters. Each chapter enough to be a complete book on its own. One on my wrestling with my internal dialogue which was born in my immediate family, one about all the maleness...you know boyfriends, male friends. Other chapters, too. I have been reading some of my journals the last couple of days. And wow. Just wow. Sometimes, what I am reading just hits me in the heart. Sometimes, tears well up in my eyes. I am quite sure I lived many lives before this one. I have always been an "old soul". My writing has always been introspective, deep and full of yearning to arrive whole.

It is just unimaginable how much energy, time and mulling over I did with the "boys". When I revisit the writing that I did on each one, I can tell which ones were buried deep in my experience and which ones I was just trying too hard to make real. The perspective is awesome from the place I am now in.

I was married just once in my life. And it was a mistake. It was in 1972. And six months after the wedding, we started divorce counseling. Or so it turned out. I won't go into the details, now. And the book may never get published. But it for sure feels like the better place to expose my heart.

I have lived in a committed relationship since. It lasted 15 years. That is the last relationship I have had. And we still "relate" if it could possibly be categorized as that. We adopted a son together. We are cordial.

He is African American. I am not. Although, that may open the question as to why I mention it, I will leave it open for now.

My marriage should have never taken place. But I don't regret it anymore. We were young. I had already had my heart broken.

And since then... there has been so much breaking of my heart, that maybe that is why I am so content just the way that I am. Single. I checked out that eHarmony. And I can't possibly put myself there. If I were to meet someone in real life, I would be willing to tenderly go down that road. But assertively pursuing a relationship is not of any interest to me.

Reading my journals just underscores that for me.

One thing I have never been good at is saying "it is over". When it is me that is not feeling fulfilled, then I find it difficult because I can't bear seeing the pain that is in the man's eyes. And many times, I haven't known it is over when it really has been. I think now, that the pain has been so deep and too many times for me to be mindless and senseless in the present.

I found lovely feelings never go away for a love that was bright. The warm and real feelings are alive when reading the words that were created from what was felt so dearly before. In 1977, such a love shone so brightly. It was a mere couple of weeks. And then he was forever gone. But the feelings were radiant. A rare experience. Rare, because often loves have resurfaced. This one never did. He was stationed here for a brief time as a Marine. The only service man I ever...well except for one time in Florence, Italy...but that one doesn't count really. ...ever dated.

This is an excerpt from my personal journal number 7, about this blazing love

Claire

I am saying “Good Bye.”

My tongue has tried to put words on my heart’s singing and I have unveiled a relatively large part of my spirit’s soul to you,
in our brief time.

Your presence
has given
me
more than words
deserve to steal from.

With an inevitable appearance of boldness
I say:
You
are
beautiful
because
I
say
you
are…

You are worthy
and deserving
of being
loved
for my soul
reached out
to yours
and found
itself
loving
you.

Needs
need not know their reason
for being.

My vast need to love –
simply found joy
and fulfillment
in loving you.

If I had
to mark a time
in space
to say
good-bye,
I would never choose
the present.

For –
planting seeds, then
never reaping that “just right” feeling
that lingers for a moment
at a harvest
forbids us
tomorrows
of
mellowness.

Our “today-relationship”
began a season of spring,
but is denied its other seasons.

Will we ever know a relationship, in each of our lives,
for all seasons?

My hopes acknowledge
such dreaming as a possible happening,
And why not?

Well, yes, I’m rambling,
but it serves me well.

The time and space
we have shared,
hopefully, is too unique, too precious,
to have a form.

The Force will always be with you…

“To believe in God is to know that thing you are shall make you live and it will never make you do anything less.

To believe in God is to build a bridge between yourself and everything worth being one with.

To believe in God is to have a somebody who knows you through and through and likes you still and all.

To believe in God is to lay down together our minds to rest a while, while we mind one another’s thinking.

To believe in God is to be one of those kids who just refuses to grow up and get older and older and die forever.

To believe in God is to drink wine, it is to eat bread, not by yourself but by some other magic.

To believe in God is to be able to die and not to be embarrassed.

To believe in God is to know the thing you are shall make you live and it will never make you do anything less.”

Remember and listen to this voice inside you, carefully.

“We cannot live forever outside each other – who still dream of mansions.”

(All the above quotations from Joseph Pintauro’s little book To Believe in God)

“… and what is supposed to be gone and past
is often more real than ever.
Through the sculpture of experience,
that part of ourselves which survives,
resolves continuously.
This is the spirit of my hope
and religion.”
(from Cedric Wright’s Words of the Earth)

This is my “Good Bye”.

“We must learn to celebrate life where we find it.”
(From McMahon and Campbell’s book Please Touch)

“The days of our lives must become precious.
Human life must know ecstasy.
Intense beauty is liberation.
Here again,
as everywhere,
the great river passing –
I passing,
you passing…
…forever flowing down through time,
flowing through many channels,
fading out of the embraces of its names…
…simple as the voice of a child and never to be quite known.
In this light and breeze are resurrection echoes.
Suddenly one becomes aware one lives in an eternity,
and hears strange footsteps ascending anciently trodden pathways.”
(from Cedric Wright’s Words of the Earth)

……..7 pages later in the same journal…

This summer, Claire, I was proven through the delightful discovery of feeling for you, that my heart could give and was ready, was willing to risk again. For this – your heart is treasured by my heart and my love of you, I know, is immortal.

Cherish the thought.

Be my harbour

Habour: A place of security and comfort, a refuge. To shelter. To give a refuge to. To indulge, to cherish a thought or feeling.

I Believe In You

"Oz never gave nothing to the Tin Man that he didn’t already have.” from the Wizard of Oz

We met July 9, 1977 and he left July 23, 1977
................................................

................................................
If You Go Away

If you go away
On this summer's day
Then you might as well
Take the sun away
All the birds that flew
In the summer sky
When our love was new
And our hearts were high
And the day was young
And the nights were long
And the moon stood still
For the night bird's song

If you go away
If you go away
If you go away...

But if you stay
I'll make you a day
Like no day has been
Or will be again
We'll sail on the sun
We'll ride on the rain
And talk to the trees
And worship the wind

But if you go
I'll understand
Leave me just enough love
To fill up my hand


If you go away
If you go away
If you go away...

If you go away
As I know you will
You must tell the world
To stop turning
'til you return again
If you ever do
For what good is love
Without loving you?
Can I tell you now
As you turn to go
I'll be dying slowly
'til the next hello

If you go away
If you go away
If you go away...

But if you stay
I'll make you a night
Like no night has been
Or will be again
I'll sail on your smile
I'll ride on your touch
I'll talk to your eyes
That I love so much

But if you go
I won't cry
Though the good is gone
From the word goodbye

If you go away
If you go away
If you go away...

If you go away
As I know you must
There is nothing left
In this world to trust
Just an empty room
Full of empty space
Like the empty look
I see on your face
And I'd been the shadow
Of your shadow
If you might have kept me
By your side

If you go away
If you go away
If you go away...

If you go away
If you go away...
Ne me quite pas

Uploaded by nycgirl4

Julio Iglesias can be heard singing this song by clicking on the post title.

Another version here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Genocide Ends

When Enough of Us

Stand Up Against It

JOIN US
1-800-GENOCIDE
www.savedarfur.org
www.genocideintervention.net
www.standnow.org

www.miafarrow.org


Write President Obama
www.whitehouse.gov
You can also call or write to the President:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Comments to President Obama: 202-456-1111

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF NOT,

THEN,

YOUR SILENCE

CONTRIBUTES

TO

ANOTHER

GENOCIDE.

www.savedarfur.org/content

HAVE YOU TAKEN A RISK TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART'S DESIRE?

.................................

"To believe in God is to know the thing you are shall make you live and it will never make you do anything less."
from Joseph Pintauro's little book To Believe in God

I LIKE THE IDEA THAT IT IS OUR JOB TO BE HAPPY

In my post Taking A Turn Toward Bliss (near the bottom) I shared a fear of mine. Have you ever wanted to do something, but didn't do it? You did other things, mundane things, things because they were put on a list, but the thing you really wanted to do was never put on a list. So it was always something you wanted to do. But you never did it.

Or you tried once or twice and it never went any further.

For me, singing in public is it. I want to do it. But my mind plays with me and then my body responds to the mind telling me all sorts of things that tie me up on the inside. Here is a quote from the previous post:

"...They are just people looking at me, but they scare the living daylights out of me. It is not something I can pretend to overcome. Breathing and relaxing the throat muscles is my mountain to overcome. Wouldn’t it be great to actually overcome this and feel the freedom from the fear? If that day ever happens, I’ll get back to you. I would relish that I did this.

You don’t know if you don’t try."

Well, I tried again today. I hadn't even planned doing it, until last night when my son said he wasn't coming over and my Sunday afternoon opened up. I practiced three days this past week, but not for long. So I didn't feel I had paid the price enough to risk embarrassing myself twice in a row. Well after sitting there at the coffee house waiting my turn to perform three songs, it was finally my turn after two and half hours. By that time the late night blogging the night before and getting up to watch Rafa Nadal lose the final in Rotterdam Sunday morning (he was playing injured unfortunately) started to take the zest out of me. I felt more like I wanted to take a nap than test drive my nerves again. This was only the second time that I have ventured out on the singing limb and since the first time was a disaster, I knew it could be a repeat performance of a disaster.

I looked at the list and knew I was next. My heart started doing its usual racing. My mind was trying to find something to think about to bring me to some place of possible...hmmm....attitude of "let's have some fun"...my internal talk of "it's you and the music" - all the stuff that works at home in front of the furniture and pretend "out in public scenarios". But then I get in front of real people and the doubts take over. .. You're not good enough. Who do you think you are - putting yourself front and center? Your voice will probably fail you again. I can't even remember all the crap that enters my mind and makes me feel that I am some "other" kind of person and only those I watch have the right to be on the stage. Until I actually open my mouth and go for the singing, I just never know what is going to come out.

Well, today was not a disaster. People, several people were actually encouraging. I was sort of out of my mind in a way, because I think I remember what people said to me right after, but I find it hard to believe. There were some "woots", people seemed to get into the rhythm and mood of the songs. The emcee said something very positive in front of the audience and told me to keep coming back. As I was walking off the "stage" one young man, asked me if I had fun - he felt it looked like I did. A husband and wife both gave me positive nods as I walked off. All in all, I thougth they liked my performance. It wasn't perfect. I knew it wouldn't be. I never know which mistakes I am going to make, but I gave up expecting perfection when I began this little trip down my dreams.

The follow-up reactions during the remainder of show were basically warm and encouraging. There was only one strange reaction. The thing is it can't matter what others think as much as the feeling that I came away with. I felt pretty good. Relieved that I could keep trying this and it just might get easier and the more I relax, I know the better I will perform. Big improvement over the first time I sang recently. Huge really. But then I needed huge. It was so bad the first time. Embarrassing.

My voice at least sounded mostly like well... me, today. Nothing great. But I let the music inside me. And I let it play through me. That is my goal. My favorite singers are those who don't perform the music but let the music perform them. If that makes any sense.

So, what a relief. It wasn't a disaster. And it actually felt good.

I played my keyboard and sang "Morning Train" an upbeat, rhythmic song in f minor. And I performed a song I composed called "Mom's Blues". And I finished with John Jacob Niles song, "Go 'Way from My Window" - a traditional blues, which I added a tag on the end.

And what was also terrific was my son called me just as I was unloading the car, to say he could come over for a short visit. He took my picture.

.................................

.................................

.................................

.................................

My advice about pictures:
Have lots of pictures taken of yourself
when you are young.
It is hard to get a good picture of yourself "later on".
I'm in my "later on".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In His Own Words - Gerard Butler
There is no embed, so...the solution is to go to the link.
A tribute to the actor

Subscribe

Uploaded by LostLover420
My comment left at this video on Youtube:
The Music, The Collection of Pictures and Quotes - make a stunning video. What I like about Gerry is his zest for life - like he enjoys living in a candy store - I never fail to smile when I watch these videos made by his fans.
Great job! Definitely 5 stars for you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"To believe in God is to be one of those kids who just refuses to grow up
and get older and older and die forever."
from Joseph Pintauro's little book To Believe in God

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Peace will not work
if just one man alive
is unjust
if one man alive is ignorant or hungry or crazy or ashamed .
For we have seen
if only one of us
decides to pull the plug,
the millions of us can kiss the world good bye
whether we like it or not. .."
from Joseph Pintauro's little book To Believe in Man

Call President Obama at 202-456-1111
or 1-800-GENOCIDE
and pressure him to immediately take steps
to ensure the protection of civilians in Darfur!

An example of your phone call text can be found below.
It is encouraged that you make it personally your message. *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And call the USA Secretary of State

The USA State Department public comment line works 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Please, call as soon as possible.

Call the State Department's public comment line 24/7 at 202-647-6575

The White House (9 AM - 5 PM EST weekdays) at 202-456-1111

or 1-800-GENOCIDE with a similar message as the one below.

If you have called already, please call again:

* I'm calling to ask President Obama, Secretary of State Clinton and Ambassador Rice to protect innocent civilians in Darfur in the wake of Bashir's arrest warrant. Please issue immediate warnings to Bashir and the government of Sudan specifying consequences of attacks on civilians. Please also prepare an emergency response plan to address further violence and appoint a full-time senior level envoy. Lastly, please stand firm in support of the ICC indictment and veto any delay in the prosecution of Bashir.

Call your Senators and Representative Today!

Find your elected politicians contact information at this link:

http://www.usa.gov/Contact/Elected.shtml
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Genocide Ends

When Enough of Us

Stand Up Against It

JOIN US
1-800-GENOCIDE
www.savedarfur.org
www.genocideintervention.net
www.standnow.org

www.miafarrow.org


Write President Obama
www.whitehouse.gov
You can also call or write to the President:

The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500

Comments to President Obama: 202-456-1111

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IF NOT,

THEN,

YOUR SILENCE

CONTRIBUTES

TO

ANOTHER

GENOCIDE.

www.savedarfur.org/content

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST WALKING TALENT

.................................................................

.................................................................
For High Quality Use This Link
If I Were A Boy ~ Beyonce
Uploaded by NeonLimelight

.................................................................

.................................................................
Missing You ~ Tina Turner
Uploaded by mtaylordayne

On Sunday, I am going to a Tina Turner concert in Boston.

Better Be Good To Me ~ Tina Turner

Beyonce singing Tina Turner's signature song ~ Proud Mary

I Don't Want to Fight Anymore ~ Tina Turner

We Don't Need Another Hero ~ Tina Turner

ATP WHY CAN'T WE SEE PROFESSIONAL TENNIS? Had to miss THE MAN....RAFAEL NADAL THAT IS

HE'S THE MAN ~ RAFA NADAL READY FOR DJOKOVIC
at INDIAN WELLS SEMI FINALS 08

Rafa Nadal against Tsonga March 19, 08

Rafa Nadal v. Tsonga match March 19, 08

Rafa Nadal v. Tsonga match March 19, 08

Some of the fun

I missed at the Rafa Nadal v. James Blake match at Indian Wells 08.

Rafa v. Blake match March 20, 08, from here on down...

What's the problem with airing professional tennis? It is even in the same country as me and I still couldn't see it. Not even a live stream. Come on ATP, get a clue.

Nadal finally earns win over Blake

The Associated Press


INDIAN WELLS, Calif. - Defending champion Rafael Nadal beat James Blake on Thursday night for the first time in their four meetings to move into the Pacific Life Open semifinals.

Nadal finished off a 7-5, 3-6, 6-3 victory over his American opponent with a 128-mph ace, then sank to his knees and thrust his arms skyward.

He had finally taken the upper hand in the tight match when he broke Blake's service for a 5-3 lead in the third set.

The Spaniard, ranked No. 2 behind Roger Federer, then served out without losing another point.

The ninth-ranked Blake had beaten Nadal in the U.S. Open in 2005, then defeated him twice in 2006, including the semifinals in Indian Wells.

Federer, on the other side of the bracket, will play Tommy Haas in a quarterfinals match Friday.

More: tucsoncitizen

Nadal joins Djokovic in final four at Indian Wells

Indian Wells, CA (Sports Network) - Spaniard Rafael Nadal downed American James Blake under the lights to join Australian Open champion Novak Djokovic as a quarterfinal winner Thursday at the $3.589 million Pacific Life Open -- the first ATP Masters Series event of the year.

The second-seeded Nadal needed just over two hours to slip past the ninth- seeded American Blake 7-5, 3-6, 6-3. Blake's much-documented success against southpaws didn't come to fruition Thursday night, as Nadal did what he does best -- outlast the opponent with a grinding array of ground strokes.

Blake had won the previous three meetings, the last a straight-set victory at the 2006 Tennis Masters Cup in China. The defending champion Nadal overcame a shaky second set to advance.

The third-seeded Djokovic got past dangerous Swiss Stanislas Wawrinka 7-6 (7-5), 6-2 in a sloppy match on the hardcourts at the sprawling Indian Wells Tennis Garden.

The reigning three-time French Open champion and two-time Wimbledon runner-up Nadal beat the Serbian Djokovic in last year's Indian Wells finale. Blake was the runner-up here in 2006.

Friday's remaining quarterfinals will pit top-ranked Swiss Roger Federer against unseeded German Tommy Haas and seventh-seeded Argentine David Nalbandian versus unseeded American Mardy Fish. Federer titled here back-to- back-to-back from 2004-06. Source: sportsnetwork

Personally....

I tried uploading so many live streams' software tonight March 20, 2008), once I realized tvunetwork wasn't going to air the Rafa v. Blake Indian Wells 08 match. BET365 can't have USA as a country choice ~ but I still tried and once I got it all set up, it said my area wasn't available.

I am a very, very unhappy tennis fan. So, as is my tendency, I speak up. If you want, you can add your voice. The link is what I used to send the message below to the ATP.

http://www.atptennis.com/en/aboutatp/contact.asp


March 20, 2008

Dear ATP,

I would like to be a very enthusiastic tennis fan. But I can't be, because there is no television or online streaming that I can get to see the Rafael Nadal v. James Blake Indian Wells 08 match tonight. I am thoroughly disappointed. If the ATP can't do something to get us the fans, broadcasts of our favorite tennis professional players, then you are not doing the sport of professional tennis any good. We the fans need to be accommodated. There needs to be a resolution. I have continually repeated my complaints to my cable television provider, Cox. But the ATP needs to address this problem. I shouldn't have to scramble every time Rafael Nadal plays a tournament to hunt down any possible way to watch the matches. And I shouldn't have to waste hours of my time searching and downloading live stream providers. Once I did this tonight with three live stream providers, in the end none of them serviced either the match or the area I live in, which is in Rhode Island, USA.

The talent of professional tennis players is outstanding but the coverage of the matches for the fans is totally unacceptable. Please, do something about this problem. Thank you in advance of doing something to solve this situation.

Sandra
Newport, RI, USA
Home of the International Tennis Hall of Fame

This is the automated response you will receive:
Thanks for your feedback. We appreciate you taking the time to help us make the World's No. 1 tennis web site even better. While all feedback will be read, due to the volume of emails we receive we cannot guarantee a personal reply.

I missed seeing the beautiful Rafa tonight and using my feelings, took this action. But one voice, won't be enough.

Please, consider joining me in this cause to see Rafa play in his Glory.

Thanks.

............................

............................

Rafael Nadal v. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga
Third set
Uploaded by Ivanovic of Istanbul, Turkey
(and I couldn't see this set on television ~ what's going on USA!)