TRUE CONNECTION NEVER DIES OR IS ROUTINE - I FEEL IT WITH HEATH AND MY DAD

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A Force of Nature from Mariago

At the heathledgerplanet.com forum there is a thread to freely talk about anything really and here is a shortened comment from one of the posters:

I sometimes wonder what I would have said to Heath had I met him...

I'd like to think it would be like that with Heath and I. Just shooting the breeze. I keep thinking what I'd say to him. I think I would have asked him ..

Then I would have wanted to know...
I'd talk about his ... but I'd think of something to ask him that wasn't typically...

I think of Heath as a friend now, but it would have been awesome to know him in person too.

And my response:

I like this. How you imagine how it would be - being with Heath and just being yourself. Sort of your own Heath Imaginarium - going past those sheets of a curtain - beyond the threshold of real to the "other real" on the other side of the tangible, now that, that is what we are left with. Heath being away from his body.

I seem to easily pass the threshold of being too concerned of appearing "off the deep end".... you know, a little different, a little atypical....on and on. So let me venture out there... I talked to Heath the last couple of days because I needed some grounding and some courage to do something that frightens me and at the same time creative. I also talked to my dad. They are both in that same universe of the spiritual world without their bodies. I go to light a candle for each of them and talk to them there "as if" ...like you imagine in your thoughts Linda. As I write this, my heart beats with more depth, more intensity, more realness. It is comforting, grounding and feels so right to love someone in a spiritual way and for that - those who have graced the planet earth for awhile and left indelible impressions on our souls will forever be . I tend to believe we don't die, but move in and out of the physical. It is just hard on us when we get attached to someone who touches our souls...how to explain what I feel....I want them here. Where I am. It just makes the world a healthier, more comforting place to have them here, with a beating heart. But it still helps me to talk to them...and maybe they like that I talk to them.

Sandra

I found this picture of Heath and thought it fits

At the heathledgerplanet.com forum there is a thread of Heath quotes started by Dynasty of Dublin, Ireland

Here are some of Heath's quotes:

I guess I’d like to think I’m indescribable. Particularly to myself. I don’t ever really want to settle on one way…um I guess I would describe myself as just, you know, like everyone else. I like to think that everyone really…we’re all built, cut from the same cloth. And I do feel connected to life. Torgen interview '06-

I always like to try and bare my soul a little bit.

Miscellaneous Brokeback Mountain quotes:

I always like to try and bare my soul a little bit.. I think it’s umm.. it’s therapeutic. (laughter)

We had to choreograph, it was definitely like walking on the moon for the first time. But it wasn't... the butt of a mule: I was kissing a human being with a soul. And part of the magic of acting is, you harness the infinite power of belief.

I hope it sticks to them. I hope it gets them thinking. I hope it presents more questions than answers.

I don't really like conventional love stories. Can you tell?

I still find it personally disappointing that people kind of go out of their way to voice their disgust or their opinions against the ways in which two people choose to love one another. I think that's really unfortunate.

UNLIKE MY CHARACTER, I'M A HUGE FAN OF LOVE, AND I'M IN LOVE WITH LOVE. AND I'VE INVESTIGATED LOVE. AND, UM, YOU KNOW, I'M VERY EXPRESSIVE. SO I KNOW HOW TO FEEL LOVE. WHETHER IT'S LOVE THAT'S TRAPPED. I KNOW HOW TO KISS SOMEONE. I KNOW HOW TO MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE. YOU JUST KIND OF DO THE SAME THING BUT IT'S WITH A DIFFERENT PERSON. IT'S WITH A MAN.

Other miscellaneous quotes

I don't have a technique. I've never been a believer in having one set technique on how to act. There are no rules and there is no rulebook. At the end of the day, it all comes down to my instincts. That's the one thing that guides me through every decision professionally. Socially, also. That's my technique. Yeah, you read through the script 100 times. I guess I have little characteristics about myself. Sometimes, most often than not, once we start shooting I won't look at the script at all until we finished shooting. It's kind of like it's been imprinted in my head during rehearsals. You just let it go.

On his brat behavior: I can admit it's a little out of line to pull the finger out and I'm trying not to do that any more. I'm trying to bite my finger these days.

On being nominated for an Oscar for BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN: "It's funny when you have a beautiful new child and your life takes on such a different meaning. Those sort of things don't matter so much.

I love the vibrant cities and the enthusiasm Americans have.....for America. I like to hang out in Manhattan where it's an easy walk to great theatre, cinema, or a Starbuck's Coffee House. I could easily make this my base.

I don't celebrate love and friendship by giving stuff to people. That's why I don't believe in marriage. I don't believe you should have to prove your love by giving someone a gold ring with a diamond on it.

I'm still a six-year-old kid and I always will be.

I was ok with it (My Parents being divorced), because it made me realize that my parents were human.

Maybe I'm not too typical, or maybe I'm just a daft. I don’t know- I tend to analyze things a lot. I think too much.

It's weird, you know? You don’t wake up every morning and think 'Okay, I'm hot.' That doesn’t concern me.

I didn’t want to do more teen flicks because its so easy to get trapped there. I think Australians have this independent streak. I want to always have the control to say no when I don’t think something is right for me. I want to be able to walk away.

On how he found his second home on stage as a kid: "I just loved it and kept doing it. I blinked and I was getting paid. Doors kept opening and I kept walking through them.

No amount of money changes what I do between 'action' and 'cut.'

I'm a home bug. When I get home from a shoot, the number one thing I want to do is sit in the house, do my laundry, do dishes, cook -- do all that [stuff] that you just usually don't do.

I'm shy. People get confused. They think, as an actor you can get up and be confident on the screen. ‘Why aren't you like this in normal life? Why can't you act in your social life?' Because I can't!

I always have bed head. I don't do anything with my hair. I don't know what to do with it.

Honesty always gets my attention. Not particularly someone who is honest to me, but someone who is honest with themselves. That is a quality I really enjoy, admire and love.

On being romantic: "I love sitting around holding hands. Just spending time with someone, doing nothing, can be romantic.

When anything is blocking my head or there's worry in my life, I just go sit on Mars or something and look back here at Earth. All you can see is this tiny speck. You don't see the fear. You don't see the pain. You don't see thought. It's just one solid speck. Then nothing really matters. It just doesn't.

All of this is so insignificant. In the grand scale of things, there have been so many before who have been in this position. I'm just another one. Life is so short. It's like we're already gone, really, in retrospect.

It's like anything in life, visualizing the old man you're going to become: As long as you have a clear picture of that — the life you want to lead — eventually you'll probably get there.

Offered by Kerenb on the thread - Heath's acceptance speech at the Santa Barbara film festival:

I guess I'd like to take the shine away from myself for a minute and acknowledge the directors who have helped and continue to help me understand what it means to be an actor: Gregor Jordan, Brian Helgeland, Shekhar Kapur, Terry Gilliam, Catherine Hardwicke, Ang Lee, Lasse Hallstrom and Neil Armfield. I trully feel that frankly I should be honoring them tonight. I'm greatful that these directors have given me the opportunity to discover that to be an actor has nothing to do with the way you live your life and the choices you make while living, but rather the way you live and the choices you make in between "action" and "cut". And these directors gave me the opportunity to be bad, to make mistakes, and to study and learn from my mistakes. Fortunately or unfortunately I was never exposed to the safe environment of an acting school and a black pair of pyjamas, and I didn't have a black room to experiment in, to privately dance within. My dance is on film. And these directors trusted me and offered me their film set and their friendship as the safe environment for me to study and make discoveries on. So I apologize for the bad discoveries made along the way, but I do stand by the theory that in order to evolve and further yourself as an actor, you have to be fearless enough to allow yourself room for error. Sometimes you must scream out loud in order to discover a whisper. So I thank all these beautiful minds and the wonderful crews around them over the past years for putting up with my screams, and I thank everyone for their patience in waiting for me to find the whisper within the words. And here's to making more mistakes.

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Candy - Tribute to Heath
By mimccd of Portugal

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Thank You
By mimccd of Portugal
Obrigado! Thank you, Carla

Click the post's title for a special tribute to Heath from Johanna - jopicca

My favorite interview with Heath took place December 3, 2007
It's the radio interview Beyond the Subtitles with Stephen Schaefer. Below, I put the links to all three parts of the interview uploaded by http://www.youtube.com/user/springrose147

I posted my transcriptions at my blog post:
poetry-by-sandra-hammel-beauty-can-be...

Beyond the Subtitles - PART 1
Beyond the Subtitles - PART 2
Beyond the Subtitles - PART 3

SOME OF MY OWN FAVORITE POSTS - MEANING MY OWN POSTS:

Choosing-to-live-vulnerable

Raw Places Where I feel the most- Where I live most of the time
My-internal-world-of-grace

My dad died May 10, 2007. I wrote about the day
Though My Dad Died He Lives On
More about my dad
I Sang for My Father Precious Memories
Because of My Dad Know I Have Known What Love Feels Like
Death-does-not-end-relationship

WHAT KEEPS ME FROM LIVING THE LIFE I WANT TO LIVE

What do you want?

I wrote that question to myself on a scrap of paper and put it where I can see it.

I tend to put off the life I really want to live and work so hard at things that aren’t those things I have wanted to do my whole life. I’m thinking I’m not unusual. I bet a lot of people live their lives the same unfulfilling way. Well, it’s a life that’s “close to it all” that I want to be, do and feel. But it “just” misses.

Just when am I going to do what I dream of, yearn to do, have a passion for?

And why do I put it off?

The thing is I have done thing after thing that has been difficult, a challenge. What most people would not have the courage to do – I walk boldly right up to and right inside it, with purpose and well put-together plans. Everything I have done has turned out successfully.

So, what is the reason that I put off what I really want to do? Why do I do everything else on the list that I make and this stuff just “is” but never happens?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CbAjj80NIM

Arms Of An Angel Sung by Sarah McLachlan

I think I know. I think, a couple of reasons. Maybe. I mean who really knows anything? We can only think about it and guess why sometimes. I think first of all that I need to put it at the top of the list – project status “priority” and make a plan. Then I need to consciously decide that I am worth it. That I deserve to do what I want.

I had an internal voice instilled in me as I was being raised that keeps telling me that I don’t deserve to do what I want. That life is something to be endured. Or some kind of duty. Duty to someone else’s idea of what I am to do or how to live my life.

The voice is there. But I don’t believe that I am here to live my life according to someone else’s ideas or judgment.

So why not do what I want! Finally? I’m on the end of life that sees the end.

To be straightforward, I hate being old. I’m a young old. But, old.

I still love the same things that I loved when I was young. All of it. All. The music. The dance. Dancing. Acting. Theatre. The body, its form, its movement. Art. The beauty of the earth. The beauty that we so often miss. The beauty in our own beings. Creativity. And emotions. The dynamic, the colorful human beings that make me happy to be a part of the human race. Beautiful men. Beautiful women. Young men. Yeah, I know, that may sound wrong. But why? My emotions, my feelings haven’t gotten old…just my body has changed. Our youth never dies if we are lucky. And my youth is still alive. The youth of what is sexy, emotional, vibrant, passionate. Those things are so alive inside me.

I want to live the life that I have always wanted to live, but haven’t for one reason or another.

I hesitate to take this step… I am afraid. Why? I don’t know, does it matter why?

Starting NOW, I am going to take the steps every day to live the life I have wanted to live. The worst that can happen is that I have to stop because finances run so low that I have to stop living the life I was born to live and “live someone else’s life” again.

Every day I am going to do something on my list that “fills me up”. It may be late in my life to finally do this, but when life is over I will have lived it – all the way. Not just chipping away at time. But “living” it inside the passion.

I’ve had great experiences, in spite of my less-than-focused and less-than-consciously-acting-out my life. But NOW, this is a life on purpose, inside the passion that I have always loved about myself.

It feels like a brave step. But it also feels so right. And anything else is so wrong. Don’t you think?

It has been easier doing all the prior successful endeavors because it has been for someone else. This is for me.

I think instead of being self-absorbed and self-centered, it is the purpose of being alive in the universe. Throwing out to the universe our best innate gifts would be the answer to the call of life. I’m being called to being fully alive.

The very first thing I ever wrote on this blog was a short quote by Goethe:

“Whatever you can do

or dream,

you can

BEGIN IT.

Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

Cool, huh?

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YuPPK_D0hs

Close to It All sung by Mabel81 from the Britain
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZHrbjhwKik

In The Arms Of The Angel sung by Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban

Lyrics

Spend all your time waiting

For that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There’s always one reason

To feel not good enough

And it’s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

Oh beautiful release

Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty

And weightless and maybe

I’ll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line

And everywhere you turn

There’s vultures and thieves at your back

And the storm keeps on twisting

You keep on building the lie

That you make up for all that you lack

It don’t make no difference

Escaping one last time

It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh

This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel

Fly away from here

From this dark cold hotel room

And the endlessness that you fear

You are pulled from the wreckage

Of your silent reverie

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort there

You’re in the arms of the angel

May you find some comfort here

Murano, Italy, November 2005

http://www.zimbio.com/account/articles
http://www.genocideintervention.net/
http://www.savedarfur.org/

CALL 1-800-GENOCIDE and follow the prompts to speak to the person who represents you in the federal government, your US Senator or Representative, and ask them to support SADA - the bill to help end the over four and a half year old genocide in Darfur, Sudan

THE PRESIDENT'S NUMBER IS 202-456-1111
HE NEEDS YOUR CALL, ALSO. HE HAS THREATENED TO VETO THIS BILL.

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......or NOT