Saturday, July 4, 2009


Living Outside As I Feel Inside

I don't like what life throws my way at times. It makes me struggle through. But there have been times of disharmony, or pain when I have also known right then and there that I am feeling a beauty with the disharmony, the pain. Why? I think maybe because it is in those moments that I feel very alive. Not dead inside. But vibrantly alive.

We, as a part of life, surely undulate - affected by all forces, elements of the universe. Chords in music fall into two classes: concords and discords. I love disharmony in music placed among the harmony. It makes it feel more real to me, the music richer. It would feel pretentious if only harmony was concordant.

For those who use their courage and heart to be on the journey of understanding, there is a chance Life will meet itself and feel abundance if only for fleeting moments. These are my moments of harmony. Exhaling and inhaling, the tide coming in and going out, rich joy and deep hurt - opposing forces maybe not dissimilar to harmony and disharmony. I want to feel alive. In a way that I am riding high on the awareness of it. And hopefully, on the dark days I can muddle through enough so that I not let the darkness swallow me up.

From a poem I wrote ~ The Power Of Beauty ~ Higher Than Reason

It is important that we open
to our vast resource of emotions and passion,
and that we
give with feeling, from a soul
that has felt its depths
pushed out into
an infinite realm.
~ By Sandra Hammel

I strive for an open-ended approach to life. No one knows or has the fixed end-all answers. We can, each one, choose to take the road to journey on that is more vulnerable, one of integrity, discards the pretense and opens himself or herself to the possible hurts that others spend their whole lives pushing down, running from or denying.

I choose vulnerability. I can't live outside of who I am inside. So, since no one has the answers that I can live by, I try to trust my own sense of what feels to fit the universe's calling for me. That is the best that I can do.

I was inspired to write these words from a post at Shekhar Kapur's website, Shekhar directed a movie I very much like ~ The Four Feathers

fan video of The Four Feathers


Friend, don’t be a perfectionist.
Perfectionism is a curse and a strain.
For you tremble lest you miss the bull’s-eye.
You are perfect if you let be.

Friend, don’t be afraid of mistakes.
Mistakes are not sins.
Mistakes are ways of doing something different,
Perhaps creatively new.

Friend, don’t be sorry for your mistakes.
Be proud of them.
You had the courage to give something of yourself.
It takes years to be centered; it takes more years
to understand and to be now.
Until then, beware of both extremes,
perfectionism as well as instant cure, instant joy, instant sensory awareness.

Until then, beware of any helpers.
Helpers are con-men who promise something for nothing.
They spoil you and keep you dependent and immature.

Frederick S. Perls

The Prophet
Kahlil Gibran
Uploaded by KathrynCassidycom

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