❧❧❧ Whatever you can do or dream, you can BEGIN IT. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Goethe ❧❧❧
❧❧❧ You were born whole, not broken. Sandra Hammel ❧❧❧
The actors that I enjoy the most - for the most part aren't from the USA. Gerard Butler (Scotland), Matthew Rhys and Ioan Gruffudd (both from Wales), Hugh Jackman (Australian) and Clive Owen (English). Hmmm....why is that, I wonder...
................................................... I have to turn off the sound and just enjoy this in silence - Clive Owen Uploaded by duckyderossa I first saw Welshman, Matthew Rhys on the TV series, Brothers and Sisters, which though it is in its 3rd year, no episodes were better than Date Night and I think the other one I liked was For the Children in the first year.
On March 4th 2009, the International Criminal Court issued a warrant for the arrest of President of Sudan Omer Al-Bashir. Within hours, Al-Bashir ordered 13 humanitarian aid groups out from Darfur and Sudan. This was not a mere reactionary move. The regime in Khartoum is comprised of a very calculating gang. That is the secret of their survival for almost 20 years in power. The expulsion of the humanitarian aid groups is meant to present the international community with tough choices. It is the start of the scenario of "Let's talk."
Khartoum is very good in negotiating its way out of troubles. Al-Bashir's bargaining chips here are the lives of 4.7 millions Darfuris. Yes, they are his citizens in the first place, but they also have been his hostages for six years. Some observers say that most of the influential individuals around Al-Bashir are western educated. These individuals understand exactly how the international community thinks, but the international community does not understand how the government of Sudan thinks.
Over the last six years, I have seen and felt the systematic destruction of the once wonderful society I grew up in. Al-Bashir, after killing hundreds of thousands of my people and burning their homes, confined those who managed to stay alive in sub-human shelters called camps in Darfur and Eastern Chad. Their misery didn't end there. Deprived of security and peace, they found the humanitarian aid groups were the only means of survival.
The aid groups provided almost everything to those Darfuris trapped in those camps, but more importantly they provided hope and protection to them. Had it not been for the humanitarian aid workers, Janjaweed attacks would have been deadlier and more rampant. The mere presence of the humanitarian aid workers in the camps and around the Darfuri people was a deterrent from attacks by the Sudanese armed militias. The aid workers were the eyes and ears of the world in Darfur.
After Al-Bashir announced the expulsion of the 13 non governmental organizations (NGOs), the international community seemed caught off guard. China came to the aid of its ally Al-Bashir in the UN Security Council and struck down an attempt to pass a resolution ordering Al-Bashir to reverse his expulsion decision. Seeing the world leaders doing nothing, Al-Bashir was emboldened and expelled three more NGOs. The international community stood by as if searching for words other than those already heard.
Al-Bashir got bolder and announced on Monday, March 16th, that he will get rid of all remaining foreign NGOs within a year and turn over the humanitarian aid operations to Sudanese organizations. Darfuris know exactly what Al-Bashir's announcement means. In the camps, refugees suspect most Sudanese humanitarian organizations are a cover for government security agencies.
Without the NGOs, it is not just security and hope that will be missed in the camps. Now starvation, thirst, diseases, will be added to Al-Bashir's arsenal in his quest to annihilate the people of Darfur.
Right now, as I write this, meningitis is spreading through the Darfur camps for internally displaced persons (IDP). New cases climbed to 38 cases in the Kalma IDP camp and 9 cases have been reported in the Kassab IDP camp. Now more than ever immunization is needed in all camps.
Also, the situation in the Zamzam IDP camps is deteriorating rapidly. There are 63,000 new comers since January without any services or registration. They gather on the bare ground of the camp. They are the first casualties of NGOs expulsion. The water problem is getting worse. Some women and children spend close to 11 hours at the pump just to fill one 4-gallon plastic container. The clinics are closed in the camp. Only God knows how acute the health situation is in the camp in the absence of NGOs.
This is a calculating regime. Each time the international community seems in disarray, that is the time Al-Bashir and his cronies make their moves. They only stop when they are stopped.
In October 2006 in an op-ed, Dr. Susan Rice, Mr. Anthony Lake, and Congressman Donald Payne wrote: "History demonstrates that there is one language Khartoum understands: the credible threat or use of force. After Sept. 11, 2001, when President Bush issued a warning to states that harbor terrorists, Sudan -- recalling the 1998 U.S. airstrike on Khartoum -- suddenly began cooperating on counterterrorism. It's time to get tough with Sudan again."
I believe that, with 4.7 millions human beings' lives at stake, now is the time to get tough with Al-Bashir's regime. Mohamed Suleiman lost members of his family to the Darfur genocide while still others remain in Darfur. Now living in the United States, Suleiman translates English language news about Darfur into Arabic and houses it online in an effort to increase awareness within the Sudanese community in the United States. He is an member of the Executive Committee of the San Francisco Bay Area Darfur Coalition.
Call the USA Secretary of State Hillary Clinton 202-647-6575
The USA State Department public comment line 7 days a week, 24 hours a day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Obama chooses Sudan envoy, to announce Wednesday Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:33pm EDT
March 18, 2009 WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. President Barack Obama is set to name retired Air Force General Scott Gration as his special envoy to Sudan, where he has warned of a worsening crisis following the expulsion of foreign aid organizations.
We Are All the Keepers of Justice.
In Sudan, there is an emergency.
Silence kills in its complicity to killing by treachery.
KEVIN, SCOTTY AND JASON~ Last year I was hoping for a love triangle and now it looks like it is here.
What a pleasant surprise! Even with 3 months of a writers strike we had a new episode on Brothers and Sisters tonight. And next week there will be another new episode.
I talk to myself during the show sometimes…. “Oh, we’ve seen that before. He’s at the door.” But this time it’s Kevin and Jason. Not Scotty and Kevin at the door.
And the scene with Scotty serving up soft-shell crabs with the three of them sitting down for a meal was eye glue. Maybe, not fun to watch, but it was magnetic. “The best writing is given to them.”
After Scotty huffs off again, the next morning Kevin and Scotty have a short make-up conversation in Scotty’s old car.
I know it may just be me, but I wait for the scenes with Kevin and his personal life. I’m not sure why, maybe I like the actors who play Kevin (Matthew Rhys), Scotty (Luke Mac Farlane) and Jason (Eric Winter) better than others. But then I like Rachel Griffiths who plays Sarah. And Sally Field has some great writing once in awhile.
It might be interesting to me because it is teaching me. Whatever it is, it is my favorite part of the show and the show is a whole lot less without these scenes.
It took too long and now we have a writers’ strike ~ justifiably ~ but still, we waited too long to see Kevin get a kiss and now we may never see the rest of the season of Brothers and Sisters.
This episode was written by two females, Jennifer Cecil and Sherri Cooper-Landsman. And the writing between Scotty and Kevin was either good, the actors just were great at presenting it or both. I don’t write about an episode unless I like it enough to invest the effort. I liked this episode. It felt more real or less predictable than the episodes prior to “36 Hours” this season. “Something New” had some pleasant little surprise lines that gave me a laugh, smile or surge of excitement. Nothing offensive, other than the sleeze-Lena being the assigned character-of-the-moment to dislike.
Let me start with the part that I am drawn to the most ~ Kevin and his love life. Thank goodness, he has “a someone” in his life that we can enjoy again. This show suffers when he doesn’t.
Scotty Wandell (Luke MacFarlane) and Kevin Walker (Matthew Rhys)
Scotty is ba-ack. Well, yes, he’s been living at Kevin’s apartment, but tonight they kissed. I hear that Eric Winter ~ who plays Jason McCallister ~ has signed on to be back on Brothers and Sisters, but that is all I know by choice. I don’t like to know ahead what is coming, so I purposely stay uninformed unless I unexpectedly read something.
Some memorable lines of Scotty (Luke MacFarlane) and Kevin (Matthew Rhys)
Scotty: (Carrying in lobsters and champagne, walking into Kevin's apartment.) I come with decadence.
Kevin: Light some candles, I’ll be right back.
Eric Winter as Jason McCallister
Jason finally calls Kevin from Malaysia. A very excited Kevin to Jason: Jason, Oh my God. Oh, I’ve missed you. Yeah, yeah, I need to talk to you, too.
Then we find that Kevin has broken up with Jason on the very phone call that he was so thrilled to get from Jason. Hmmm….love to know what happened on that phone call. …and how Kevin turned from being loyal and in love with Jason to. . .
Kevin to Scotty: I finally spoke to Jason. I broke up with him (this is a puzzle, it seemed like Jason must have been the one to break up with Kevin . . . hmmm . . .) Scotty, when I first met you, what we had was messy. We were hot and cold, back and forth, all over the place. But I want to be back there with you because I want to be honest about who I am.
Scotty: Did you tell Jason we slept together. Kevin: Yes, I did.
Wow, the story really moved ahead tonight. We open with everyone sharing their “first times”.
The second thing that I love about this show is Sally Field. I like it when the story has her going for some “love life”. She can be real special when the script gives her some stuff to put her best into. She really cleared out the room when she talked about “Pretty Woman” in the opening scene. She just forges ahead into “intimate territory”, but the adult children don’t really want to hear.
Nora (Sally Field) meets up with her "sexual encounter of the first kind", Stan Harris, who is played by Chevy Chase.
Julia (Sarah Jane Morris) returned to her marriage with Tommy (Balthazar Getty), reuniting Tommy with baby Elizabeth, at least I think that’s the baby’s name.
Lyle Lovett is a plant by Senator Robert McCallister (Rob Lowe) to impress Kitty (Calista Flockhart) with a romantic moment.
Saul (Ron Rifkin) gets his back up with Nora, when he thinks she is meddling into his newly acknowledged homosexuality.
Sarah Whedon (Rachel Griffiths) looks to be getting a new love interest.
Justin Walker (Dave Annable) is coming off the pain killers and is sweet again. He is so good at owning up to his “flaws” with Rebecca.
Holly Harper (Patricia Wettig)…well, her character is less brassy.
And the unlikable Lena continues to be unlikable.
Rebecca (Emily Van Camp) finally has some pleasant exchanges with her mother ~ the “other woman” of William Walker and Nora’s deceased husband.
And Kitty finally welcomes Rebecca as her sister and illustrates it by asking the half sister ~ via their mutual father’s extramarital affair ~ to be one of her bride’s maids. I liked the line where Kitty says after Rebecca is thrilled to be asked to be a part of the bridal party: Should we hug?
The wedding is next Sunday night. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
A Walk Down Memory Lane in the Caterers' Kitchen (Season 1): …………………………………………
Brothers and Sisters Season 2, episodes: 9/23/2007: Brothers & Sisters: Family Album 9/30/2007: Home Front 10/7/2007: An American Family 10/14/2007: History Repeating 10/21/2007: States of the Union 10/28/2007: Domestic Issues 11/4/2007: Two Places 11/11/2007: 36 Hours 11/25/2007: Something New 12/2/2007: Holy Matrimony
Call President Bush and tell him to actually act on his words regarding the Darfur genocide: "NOT ON MY WATCH." Talk is useless, President Bush. His number: 202-456-1111
Wow, seven episodes into season two of a television show that I fell for hard last year when it debuted and I finally really liked an episode. Tonight, the writing had more substance… at least the actors seem to be able to get their acting chops into the material more than any other episode so far. The episode of Brothers and Sisters, “36 hours” showed what this show does best when it is allowed to from the writing – is relate to one another. I haven’t liked the predictability of the lines and the fluffy humor in past episodes. I prefer Matthew Rhys’ character in a relationship – or at least – trying to be.
Tonight, the writing was strong. The acting followed and I was in from the first segment prior to the first commercial knowing this episode was different and better. The writers were David Marshall Grant and Molly Newman. The director was David Paymer. The only minor writing bit that I didn’t like was with the scene of Tommy breaking up with Lena (I think that is her name). I thought Lena’s lines were “throw away” lines – just gratis type lines. Just lines to move the story along, not much thought put into them and bland all the way around.
Everything else was quite stellar for this little gem of a show.
I love how Sally Field got some lines again that let her talented acting shine through. Finally. She was especially great with the scene where she locked the door on Justin and also at the pool. Great scene at that family pool…almost as good as the kitchen setting for this Walker family.
The little scene with Robert McAllister and his daughter while ice skating was well-done. And the scene with Sally’s Nora and her brother, Saul Holden, baring the truth about his sexual orientation was the kind of scene that this show has made as its trademark.
Matthew Rhys as Kevin Walker
Matthew Rhys as himself
I didn’t know that Kevin (Matthew Rhys) had not been talking to Jason McAllister. How sad for him. Matthew was great tonight, but then he is always good even when the writing leaves me wanting more substance.
Even Holly Harper was likeable tonight. It was nice to see Rebecca confide in her mother about Justin Walker.
And the writing where Justin unloads on each person within ear shot was outstandingly well-written and well-acted.
I just hope that the fluff, predictable lines don’t come back.
BROTHERS AND SISTERS Season 2 Episodes
12/2/2007: Holy Matrimony 11/25/2007: Something New
11/11/2007: 36 Hours 11/4/2007: Two Places 10/28/2007: Domestic Issues 10/21/2007: States of the Union 10/14/2007: History Repeating 10/7/2007: An American Family 9/30/2007: Home Front 9/23/2007: Brothers & Sisters: Family Album
ISN’T IT?You see it. It happens between actors. I wonder do they know it is special too? Those are the scenes that I can watch over and over and never get tired of them. It happens for me with Dirty Dancing. But then I think of the magic of the music and the way Patrick Swayze moves. It happens for me with Robert Redford.
I’ll start with Robert Redford and Meryl Streep in Out of Africa: …………………………………..
I fell for the television ABC show, Brothers and Sisters, last year when Kevin and Scotty were coupled. Kevin is played by Matthew Rhys of Cardiff, Wales. Read more about Matthew Rhys: http://ioanzone.19.forumer.com/viewtopic.php?t=114&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=60 Matthew is special as an actor, but I especially liked Luke MacFarlane, aka Scotty Wandell, son of Wally and Bertha, paired with Matthew’s Kevin. Then came Chad played by Jason Lewis for Kevin’s love interest. Okay… so I didn’t like Chad with Kevin. Jason just didn’t look comfortable being his gay character. Then came along Eric Winter as Jason MacAllister, a minister-brother of Rob Lowe’s character, Robert. Eric Winter – I like. But tonight we got a lot of looks at Luke MacFarlane’s Scotty again. And you know what, I sat there and said to myself “They just have something special”… when they are together on the screen. So Kevin didn’t let Scotty get the kiss he was going for – but they are going to try to be friends while Eric is a missionary in Malaysia. I say send Kevin to Malaysia - that would be so cool.
In the meantime, I like not knowing ahead of time what is going to happen, but I think it is obvious that Kevin’s loyalty to his boyfriend, Jason/Eric Winter is going to be tested. It just was set up in tonight’s episode. It is always good writing for Kevin’s character when Jon Robin Baitz is writing the script and tonight was no exception to that.
This one includes the Kevin and Jason irresistible kiss: …………………………………..
This is one of my two favorite scenes with Kevin and Scotty, however there is one little move that Kevin does at the end that is cut off in this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQPsSiSC3eo
SOMETIMES WE NEED TO BE REMINDED WE ARE HERE FOR ONE ANOTHER Every Child Has: The right not to starve The right to education The right to protection from abduction, exploitation and neglect
Every child deserves these fundamentals - everywhere and always ............................................... ...............................................http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAlXBU7p_6w
It's a given: I love where I live, though its size is small, it has grand opportunities and much beauty. A small seaport called Newport, Rhode Island has history, of course the native north Americans' and of the colonial days. Newport is actually an island called Aquidneck Island by the Indians and the actual Island of Rhode Island on the map. There are only three towns on Aquidneck Island, the south end is Newport, the north end is Portsmouth and the middle is uncreatively called Middletown. I'm a transplant here, living here since I was 24 years old and now I have to admit, I'm way past those years now. Rhode Island is a tiny state...you can get anywhere in this state in an hour basically. Our biggest town is Providence, the capital of Rhode Island. The word "providence" means "God, when conceived omnisciently, directing the universe and the affairs of humankind with wise benevolence". The fact that the city of Providence has such substance and almighty meaning behind the definition of its name is humbling, or at least, should be humbling.
We have the mighty and beautiful tallships gracing our harbor right now. At night, their outlines are beautifully lit up. And PRESIDENT BUSH was here today. But none of us got to see him. The news reported that Airforce One landed on the Navy Base here at 10:30 a.m. He was invited by our Republican Governer Donald Carcieri to come to Rhode Island today. Now there is only one state left that Bush has never visited - Vermont. Rhode Island was taken off that short list today. Our two United States Senators and our two Representatives are all Democrat, and his approval rating here in Rhode Island according to one of the signs at the protest today, is as low as his IQ. Many of the signs were on that order, of say ... "insulting".
President was scheduled to speak at 11:00 a.m. I am a major activist here in RI for stopping genocide, specifically the one in Darfur that is four years and four months old. So I went with my poster to the sight of other protesters gathered today close to the Navy Base where Mr. Bush spoke about the subject of
TERROR.
Only two of us had signs about Darfur. All of the other signs were of peace, getting out of Iraq, not getting into Iran, impeaching Bush and or Cheney and so on. We had around 250 people. Wal-Mart wouldn't let us park in their huge lot. But the Pizza Hut gave us permission. Afterward, I went to thank the manager for allowing us to do so. I think he was surprised that I did this. But it was apparent that he appreciated the "shout out".
Okay, we were pretty confident that President Bush wouldn't want to see us and would not drive by our little protest, but we knew the television cameras would probably come for the show. However, mostly they reported President Bush's speech on TERROR.
The real terror is President Bush and his "non-executive branch", Vice-President Dick Cheney. Did you hear about VP Dick Cheney saying that he isn't fully a member of the executive branch of the government this week? Unbelievable, but he said it.
The support of those who drove by all of our signs was overwhelmingly in support of the protesters. And when my neighbor and I walked the streets of Newport with our Darfur signs with all of the tourists in town for the tallships, we were very much supported. People asked to take pictures of us and gave us words of thanks.
It's too bad that President Bush chooses to only represents those that he can pidgeon hole as his true supporters. His supporters have given this man license to ruthlessly strip us as a nation of our reputation worldwide with his stupidity. When he "ran" for President he only allowed people into his "town meetings" who supported him. He hand picked his crowds. What kind of democracy is it, that the Presidential candidate will only speak in front of those that he hand picks?
This guy has sold us down a political river and doesn't even care that it's polluted.
I'm not a Bush supporter because I don't agree with anything that he has done as President.
When what’s wrong is pretended to be right, we are not facing the truth. That is a problem.And that is where we are as a nation of wrongs with the current Administration.
Iraq should not have been invaded.And “not leaving” Iraq will never make that fact right, Mr. President.
Dad in his thirties, coaching basketball practice Dad, my brother and me at Lake Michigan's beach
An Indiana winter scence at the lake that dad made Dad and me. He's the cute one : )
A summer scene of the same lake Both of my parents had the same nickname in high school.They were Mick and Mick. Reflection on the lake Dad, my younger sister, my older brother and that's me with the barefoot
Dad, as coach
and again Dad was just thrown in the shower by the team in this picture. Keith, the player beside himcame to dad's funeral and spoke very lovingly about him.
By brother and me
Dad at home Dad & I That looks like an onery look on his face. Probably was.
April 9, 1944, the day my parents married.
He loved his rock business. He took his "rock talk" to the schools to share his knowledge. Here he is in his Clear Creek Rock Shop with my son.
Dad at my house in Rhode Island First Grandson, who is now 27 years old. Loved being Grandpa.
Me with the lake that dad made behind me.
My dad, brother and me. I'm sure I just got scolded, it's written on my face. Dad, my brother and me in Huntington, Indiana, where both of my parents grew up and where I was born. Home of Dan Quayle's Library. Really... Okay, so I'm the ONLY democrat in my family, but I took this picture when I was home in May to prove it to you... Bush the father chose Quayle and Bush the son choice Cheney...hmmm...not too good at selecting vices
Dad at home
Dad & my son, Jonathan, out on his man-made lake
Dad & my son by the lake
Dad Here he is in September 2005 Dad's family. He's the one holding the ball.
Dad's oldest brother, the physicist, Dad in the middle, Dad's other older brother, the artist and farmer
Dad's Mother and who I inherited my red hair from
TRUTH NEVER DIES
At my dad’s funeral, I began with these words:
“The one thing about my dad that makes him special to me was and will continue to be his SPIRIT.My dad is my hero.He made it a better world…”
I am grateful for the time that I had with my Dad a year ago during father’s day week, when I flew to Indiana to see him.It was the last father’s day that he was alive.I sang hymns to him in his little room.Sometimes, he sang.He initiated conversation one day.I was told that he wouldn’t recognize me by my sister who lives in Indiana.I was told by my mother that he didn’t show happiness any more.None of this proved to be true.When I walked down the hall of the Alzheimer residents’ floor, I spotted him standing 30 to 40 feet away.He lifted his arm toward me and said my name “Sandy”.He immediately wanted to leave the building.Later I found out why.He wanted to go home.
When father’s day came, I went to visit dad.I told him it was Father’s Day and that he was my dad.Neither my brother, nor my sister visited dad on that day. I spent a lot of time with dad that week which I found out later upset my mother.Dad expected mom to spend more time with him and mom didn’t like that.I upset her life.That is reason enough to be condemned in my family.
The Hammel Reunion - one that dad was present for
Because I wanted to have more time with my father, the first week of August 2006, I flew back to Indiana for dad’s birthday which coincided with the annual Hammel family reunion.Mom was not happy with me for coming.The day after dad’s 82nd birthday, I took him out for a car ride.This was the last time I was allowed the freedom to take him out.He was worried the whole ride that he would get in trouble with mom for going out.Even so, his whole body language changed completely when he saw where we were – at the lake and house that he had built.During this trip out, he made it clear that he felt that since it was his family reunion that he should get to go.It made sense to me.But what also made sense, was his worrying about mom’s power over him at this time in his life.The next evening dad asked mom in front of me if she was going to the Hammel Reunion.For someone who I was told couldn’t remember things, he remembered this for over 24 hours.She answered him, “No, and you’re not either.”She was mad at me.I said “He wants to go, why shouldn’t that matter?”The next morning I received a phone call telling me that I was no longer to take dad out for car rides.And specifically, that Mom forbid me to take him to his family reunion.The nurse called me to tell me this information.That evening when my dad’s sister and I went to visit dad after the reunion, dad was scared the whole time that mom would show up.This woman badly affected this man, but blamed me for his reaction.None of this looked like love to me.
My father still had desires, wishes and expressed them.But he was denied by his wife, my mother to have any say in his life.She was in total control.This saddens me even now after his death.She won this one.But overall, Dad was the ultimate winner in how he lived out his entire life to the last breath.
How do I put into words in one blog post, a lifetime with my dad?That is not possible to do.That, however, has never stopped me from making an effort before.
My family is nothing like the one that I thought I had.Turns out that pretending played a big part in what my family is.The family that I was supposed to believe that we were was a Christian-loving, compassionate and kind family.Except for my father, in the end, none of that is true.My mother has shown herself to be someone that I don’t know. But at least, now I know.There is some positive value in that knowledge.
Until, my dad got a supposed diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease, I had to take dad on mom’s terms.On the phone, she controlled the conversation when they both were on the phone.Then over the last several years, she just acted like he didn’t exist at all.I had to press her to put him on the phone.When he was on the phone, she criticized him for breathing too hard or being wrong about whatever he did try to say to me.I overlooked much of her behavior.But it became so blatant last summer, that I had no choice but to see her for what behavior she exhibited for all to see.
My father always recognized me.He always was able to communicate with me.Yes, there were days that he couldn’t retrieve words that he was looking for, but none of that mattered to me.It was all the more reason to love him and be patient with him.I personally don’t believe that he had AD, but some other form of dementia.An AD diagnosis cannot be definitively confirmed unless a brain autopsy is done after death.Having this diagnosis appeared necessary for my mother’s sake.It allowed her to put him away and feel justified.My father pleaded with his wife, my mother, to allow him to live at home.In front of me, she told the doctor last August that she and he had been fighting every day before she put him in the “home”.
The saddest thing about my dad’s dying May of this year is that he wasn’t truly loved by the woman that he emotionally demonstrated his love for until he died.For the last decade she increasingly and more boldly humiliated him.She put him down in front of all to witness.She revealed to me that she is not the person she pretended to be all these years.She still wants me to believe that she is.But to do that, I would have to deny myself a promise that I made to myself:I will live in truth.Maya Angelou says “when someone shows you who they are, believe her/him.”
That is where I am with the people who are in my family.Even with impaired mental retrieval, my dad had emotional integrity to the end of his mortal life.What a betrayal of trust he lived through.If there is a heaven, I hope he gets extra credit for this enduring skill that he exhibited.
It is difficult beyond reason to accept that your mother lacks total empathy and has never found out who she really is.I feel my mother proves denial of true feelings only creates a fiend.My mother wants me to believe that what she says is true.Instead I believe what she behaves.
My whole adult life I have been the “sinner” or the “black sheep” of the family.For a long, long time I struggled trying to gain what I thought was my parents’ approval and love.But, now I know it was my mother that was the hold out.I wanted to be known for the woman that I had become.I wanted to be understood by my mother.Now, I surrender.I don’t want her approval anymore.I live fully without her understanding the full human being that I am.It is her loss more than it is mine.As much as I would adore having a mother’s love in this way, I know a person who doesn’t know herself or love herself has no way of giving this to someone else.This is sad. But this is true.I can live with truth even when it is sad.
In spite of my family’s stamp of disapproval of how I live my life, or how they think I live my life, I have found my real self.I love my life.And after trying for the last time to communicate with my mother on August 7, 2006, I leave her with her life and I was able to step into my life more freely than ever before.I have never been happier.My family looks like some scripted movie to me.It is not a family that I would want to live in.There is not one person in my family that I see anything that I would want to be.Except for one.Dad.I would never have dreamed my family would turn out to be the way it is.But it is.
Dad died Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 10:05 a.m.May 10th is the same day that his mother died.
Dad at his parents' grave stone September 2005
He was 82 years, 10 months old.The only member in my family who had called to tell me about dad’s expected death was my brother, who lives in Maui.The two who live in Indiana, my mom and my sister, had never contacted me over the last years about dad.Not to tell me he was leaving home to live in this institution.Not that he had fallen after being hit by a car.Not that he was near death.On Wednesday, May 9, 2007, my brother called me to let me know that the next morning he was going to arrange to have dad hear his voice.We were both going to Indiana the next week, but in case dad didn’t survive that long, we wanted speak to dad, although he himself couldn’t speak anymore.The next day, Greg called me at 9:00 a.m. to update me.
My dad gave me what I needed to believe.Where mom had let me down in so many ways, Dad came through.He demonstrated how to live in truth and integrity even at the end.My dad was real.He was never pretentious.Those who knew my dad admired him.The middle of five children, born August 3, 1924, he was the only one in his high school class of 1943, to be classified 4F for the military during World War II.He was however recruited out of high school, by Curly Lambeau, the coach of the Green Bay Packers.
My father’s favorite sport to play was football although he ran track and played basketball. And he did all of this with his own dad’s disapproval, initially.
This is what they wore. This is the only picture I have - it's high school.No Green Bay Packers picture, just a Packer-Redskins program, a letter from Curly Lambeauand newspaper clippings with his name praised a lot.
My dad was very proud of his oldest brother, now deceased, Harold Theodore Hammel, a world-known physicist. This is uncle Ted's back side of his grave stone:
Just before Ted died he had proven a new theory. His name was nominted for a Nobel Peace Prize, but you cannot be awarded posthumously.
I visited my dad's other older brother, Jerald, in the early evening of the day of my dad’s funeral. He told me “Your dad got more beatings than all of the rest of us put together”.Dad got some of those beatings on the behalf of other’s actions.His mother put salve on his wounds.My dad’s family was far from well-to-do.His own father a few days prior to finishing seventh grade was sent to work and live on a farm for room and board.He told my father he cried himself to bed every night.
My dad built the three family houses that I lived in as I grew up.The first one I was born in. The last one was built on a lake he created from a natural spring where a corn field had been. During college, he started his own wood floor refinishing business that developed into contracts doing the basketball courts at Notre Dame University, Indiana and PurdueUniversities.He taught and coached basketball at two high schools with acclaimed success.But to him, the most important reason for coaching was the mentoring that it allowed him to do.The local newspaper sportswriter told me that Bobby Knight respected my dad’s coaching and came to recruit players from dad’s teams.
For me, I remember the fact that dad’s players rules included strict rules about not dating – so it seems that might have had some bearing on the fact not one player ever asked me out for a date.
I was raised by imposing parents.The leather belt was used frequently on me and my brother.Both of my parents gave us “lickings”.With dad however, I remember the talks afterwards -they were confusing.He would sit on the edge of my bed with me after the blistering cracks on the skin and say that “he did it because he loved me and that it hurt him more than it hurt me”.Well, he was wrong on that.
By the time I grew into myself as an adult, I knew my father had the heart of a teddy bear.It is not okay to whip your children.I was able to see through that and see him for who he was at heart, later in my life.My dad was a compassionate man.He made it a practice to not criticize people in general.He showed his sensitive nature by how he chose his words and articulated his thoughts.He admired spunk.He had spunk himself.He never pretended to be anything that he wasn’t.
Truth for me means no pretense.Being genuine.Real.Dad gave me the gift of personifying these attributes from a member of my family.
The newspaper sportswriter spoke at my dad’s funeral, “The one thing that I liked about Mark was his intensity.He loved to win.”
I am intense.I love being passionate about my passions, about my life.And now I can own this trait about myself and see that it comes from dad.
Although it appears that dad got beat by life – that is not true.He lived his life to the last breath on his terms.He was forced to live where he didn’t want to live.He wanted to live at home.But he refused to draw his last breath until he wanted to.
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My dad's older brother, Jerald died while reading his mail on his bed May 19, 2007. I was the last one to see him face to face, although his children had talked to him on the phone. My dad is survived now by their only sister, who is a gifted pianist. My uncle had mailed me some photographs that I had left at his house. They arrived in my mailbox after he passed away. His daughter told me that he wanted me to have a picture that he had drawn of me. I feel blessed that I decided to go out to visit Jed the day of my dad's funeral.
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The Day My Dad Died I Was On the Phone With Him
When I called, Marcia, a nurse picked up the phone.She said dad’s "pulse is irregular, there are crackles in his lungs, he is non-responsive today, he moaned yesterday when I turned him over".
Below is what I said on the phone call to my dad.He took his last breath at the end of the phone call.
“Hello, dad, this is Sandy from Rhode Island.I love you, dad.I love you so very much.I wish I was there.I would hug you and kiss you.I’m going to sing you one verse of
“The Old Rugged Cross”.
On a hill, far away, stood an old rugged cross,
The emblem of suffering and shame,
But I know that old cross, the dearest and best,
For a world of lost sinners was slain,
So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross
Where trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged cross
And exchange it some day for a crown.”
I’m coming to Indiana in 6 days, but if you go to heaven before that, just know I’ll see you up in heaven and I’ll hug you and kiss you in heaven.I love you, dad.Can you squeeze Marcia’s hand to say you love me?I love you, dad. Bye
Following this in a couple of seconds, Marcia came on the phone and said:
Sandy, he blinked his eye
I think he’s very close
I think it helped
I’m holding his hand
It’s amazing
He’s waited for you
Beautiful…beautiful
You know, I think he’s gone
I’ve never seen anything like it…..hhhh.
It’s just amazing
I said, what do you mean…
Reply:You and the connection
He waited for you
The healing
He blinked – he doesn’t do that.
I said in response, he was resourceful to the end. He didn't have the strength to squeeze your hand, so he came up with something else.
She responded, How can anyone not believe?
She said, I don’t have my stethoscope, but I think he’s gone
I said, would you get your stethoscope?
She replied: I will.I’ll be right back.
Back, she says:I think he’s gone
I said:Will you touch his hand or arm?
She answered:I touched his forehead
She asked me:Will you be calling Greg?
I said:Yes.
I asked Marcia to stay with me on the telephone.She did.
This was a gift that he gave to me.This was a blessing.I knew it right then.
I shared this story at the funeral service and the singing of “The Old Rugged Cross”.
“Let the world stop turning,
Let the world stop burning,
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through
If it all falls apart
I will know deep in my heart
The only dream that mattered had come true
In This Life I was loved by you.”
From the song “In This Life” sung by Bette Midler
When I went to thank Marcia for all that she had done for my dad, I asked her which eye dad winked with and she said the one near the wall, the left one. I can't even make my left eye wink by itself.But he could.I know he understood everything I said to him. He found a way to say he loved me when I asked. Then...Marcia said she saw him take his last breath. She said she has never seen anyone go like dad, immediately following an exchange. What a gift he gave to me. Such a blessing. Now, he has peace that he so deserved and needed.
What a really cool man he was and continues to be in my life. A wink has a whole new meaning for me now.
Dad liked Tennesee Ernie Ford, Here he is singin”16 Tons”
In honor of my father I continue to do my political activist work. He lived full-out. That's what I intend to do.
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I'm open to whatever life sends my way. Just like truth, hope never dies. I don't know what is in store for my family. But I remain ready to welcome any goodness and truth.
I love my life. I love where I live. And I am passionate about my passions. I love to dance. Necessary to live: music, piano, singing, writing, acting, painting.
I have been fighting for and supporting the arts all my adult life. Since 2004, I have been working with other activists to end the Darfur genocide.
I have traveled to Europe many times since my early twenties. Places I have been: many USA states including Hawaii, Montreal, Canada, Barbados, France, Spain, Luxembourg, England, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, Greece and Germany - and have wonderful memories.
My last trip was in May - June 2013 to Spain.
I would like to travel to Europe and Kyoto, Japan.
I love the southwest where I have visited Hopi, Navajo, Zia and San Idlefonso potters.
Life is exciting and I intend to live it full-out to the end.
B.S. and M.M., both in music
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Khartoum, Sudan Stop Genocide Time
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Melbourne Time
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RAFA NADAL -BRING BACK LONG PANTS - SLEEVELESS TOPS
Double Click on Videos to Enlarge
Darfur - The Abandoned Genocide - a video by Sandra Hammel
Want to help? Call 1~800~GENOCIDE
"May I Suggest" by Susan Werner
Satchita - Playing for Change
Stand By Me ~ Playing for Change
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Genocide is not only a word,
it is crying of the whole human race.
There is nothing redeeming about being silent
when speaking up is the humane thing to do.
The honor and integrity of the human race is at stake.
The actors that I enjoy the most - for the most part aren't from the USA. Gerard Butler (Scotland), Matthew Rhys and Ioan Gruffudd (both from Wales), Hugh Jackman (Australian) and Clive Owen (English). Hmmm....why is that, I wonder...
