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Monday, July 13, 2009

DEEPEST NEED IS TO FEEL CONNECTED

Much of the personal writing on this post has been removed. I know it is probably cached but I felt it may be a mistake to leave it here.

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I believe the deepest need we have is to feel connected. The best that I can do is to open up. I know there have to be others out there who are looking to connect and just haven't found the words, the understanding or someone to confide in their deepest feelings and tenderness.

We are by nature fragile beings.

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Aside from looking at my own vulnerabilities, I have become interested in Heath Ledger recently. I have come late to the admiration of his work, but also I am trying to understand what is so connectable about him for me. The best parts of his movies' dvds are the special features and commentaries. I like those on A Knights Tale, The Four Feathers and Brokeback Mountain. He isn't fidgeting in the interviews of A Knights Tale and The Four Feathers, but calm and introspective. There is a wonderful segment just about him on the dvd of A Knights Tale. I used some of it in this video.
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In Brokeback Mountain's dvd special feature - The Making of Brokeback Mountain - he says that he always likes to bare his soul a little bit...that it is theraputic.

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Shekhar Kapur and Deepak Chopra talk about Heath

Ang Lee talks about Heath


It is apparent that when Heath was creating, he was most at home and comfortable. There had to be some internal struggle. The drugs, legal or not, didn't serve him well. What he could convey through the lens of a video camera came across as genuine and connected to my heart. Except for the joker in A Dark Knight and Ned Kelly. The humility, down-to-earth conversation, shyness and restlessness that came across in interviews couldn't help but show a side to Heath that showed him to be a mystery of complexity. I'll never understand Heath.

I do have keys to my soul.

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Self-Knowledge ~ Kahlil Gibran

And a man said, "Speak to us of Self-Knowledge."

And he answered, saying:

Your hearts know in silence the secrets of the days and the nights.

But your ears thirst for the sound of your heart's knowledge.

You would know in words that which you have always know in thought.

You would touch with your fingers the naked body of your dreams.

And it is well you should.

The hidden well-spring of your soul must needs rise and run murmuring to the sea;

And the treasure of your infinite depths would be revealed to your eyes.

But let there be no scales to weigh your unknown treasure;

And seek not the depths of your knowledge with staff or sounding line.

For self is a sea boundless and measureless.

Say not, "I have found the truth," but rather, "I have found a truth."

Say not, "I have found the path of the soul." Say rather, "I have met the soul walking upon my path."

For the soul walks upon all paths.

The soul walks not upon a line, neither does it grow like a reed.

The soul unfolds itself, like a lotus of countless petals.

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Having a Voice


by Sandra Hammel

I’ve found my voice

Never to be stilled again

Not going to live voiceless anymore, especially when it comes to you

The small kernel of courage to live out loud has emerged

and

It feels right,
it feels good,
it feels like home.

You’ve kept me quiet with nothing but my need to have you love me.

And now something has been unleashed within me

and my voice must speak
its truths

braving your total disregard

which seems nothing more than what’s been my lot anyway.

Nothing really to lose

but to gain,
oh,
I can’t even begin to imagine
what I have to gain.
But I anticipate the possibilities with no more sadness.
Excited.

In my life’s garden, I expect gladness, gratitude and shining bright colors blooming inside

BURSTING to get
out

This is where I have always wanted to be.

Now,
I’m here.

It’s great to be here,





home.


Written January 13, 2006

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