OPEN FORUMS AND HOW TO DEAL WITH THEM and HONORING OUR HEROES

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I visit a forum sometimes. I go there, because I want to feel connected. There are times, I stay away. There are times, I feel hurt. There are times I shouldn't be there, because I certainly should be doing some other important thing. Really, every minute there, is a minute away from what I really want to do and that is doing something creative. So why do I go there? Well, I have this strong feeling toward Heath Ledger and I want to find ways to feel closer to him, albeit he is living on another plane right now.

At youtube, there are times, I simply don't comment, though I feel a pull to do so. But I feel the best way to handle the meaner comments is by simply not engaging the person at all. Why would I want to fight with a complete stranger? I have no idea how mentally stable the person might be. And some people just want to pick a fight, be mean, or complain. I don't like to quarrel in "real life", so I am not going to quarrel online where winning means so very little.

As for forums, I only go to three forums at the current time. Two for Rafael Nadal and one for Heath Ledger.

Recently there has been a subject of Heath's funeral that has caused some discussion about "freedom of speech" and "being protective of those who feel vulnerable regarding Heath's death".

I will offer my opinion that I have for the moderator's decision that was to simply move the comment in question to a "members only" section at the forum. The comment was not deleted, but moved to protect any family or friends of Heath that may find it too raw of a subject should they drop in to read.

Here is my opinion about the discussion of how to deal with the sensitive question of a possible open casket on the open forum versus sensitivity toward those who may need some "emotional shelter".

I choose not to join discussions that I am not comfortable with online. There are times that I simply choose to stay away until I can handle my emotions. Especially online. Real life is different. But online, I come here to garnish the good and as an escape from what real life is throwing at me. So online, I stay away from any conflicting situations. It is just how I choose to deal. I am an activist to prevent and end genocide and have been since 2004 and I stand up a lot with my voice and actions regarding that. And I have strong feelings about a lot of issues. Human rights, especially female rights, neglected and abused children, foster children....you get the picture.

The moderator's job is a difficult position. And they get paid nothing. You can't please everyone. There is no 100% win-win here. But what was chosen was what the moderator thought was best. And that is all we can ask of the moderator.


Personally, I side with "emotional shelter" on this one. Of course free speech is king, except when it isn't and in this case for me, it isn't. And besides, the comment wasn't forbidden....only moved to a "better" place for all considered, in my humble opinion. While not judging who raised the question, for me being human means we honor those we love by honoring those they loved. And all at the forum I gather "love" Heath ~ if only in our own limited capacities. And we know family was important to him. I wonder a lot of things, for example about Heath and Michelle, but I have to let it go. I will never know the answers to questions that I have and Heath was clear. Privacy was crucially important to him. So to remember that ~ is a way to love him and honor him as well as those who love him in ways we can only tiptoe close to.

So, I say truck on to the moderator. You're doing a wonderful job. And you deserve to know that. I offer my vote of confidence.

Sandra Hammel
Portsmouth, Rhode Island
USA
Heath's One Time Home - Planet Earth

I heard this singer/songwriter, last month here in my hometown, sing this song and for me this one song was worth the price of the ticket:

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Susan Werner sings her song ~ May I Suggest
Uploaded by rockstarwrangler

May I suggest
May I suggest to you
May I suggest this is the best part of your life
May I suggest
This time is blessed for you
This time is blessed and shining almost blinding bright
Just turn your head
And you'll begin to see
The thousand reasons that were just beyond your sight
The reasons why
Why I suggest to you
Why I suggest this is the best part of your life

There is a world
That's been addressed to you
Addressed to you, intended only for your eyes
It's a secret world
Like a treasure chest to you
Of private scenes and brilliant dreams that mesmerize
A tender lover's smile
A tiny baby's hands
The million stars that fill the turning sky at night
And I suggest
Yes, I suggest to you
Yes, I suggest this is the best part of your life

There is a hope
That's been expressed in you
The hope of seven generations, maybe more
And this is the faith
That they invest in you
It's that you'll do one better than was done before
Inside you know
Inside you understand
Inside you know what's yours to finally set right
And I suggest
And I suggest to you
And I suggest this is the best part of your life

This is a song
Comes from the west to you
Comes from the west, comes from the slowly setting sun
This is a song
With a request of you
To see how very short the endless days will run
And when they're gone
And when the dark descends
Oh we'd give anything for one more hour of light

And I suggest this is the best part of your life

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Home

By Jonathan Hammel

There once was a place,

between the crack of dawn and the twilight of sunsets.

The place that flowed peacefully among the lilac bushes
The place where the morning dews

slipped from their high perches on the grass
The place where we begin the talk of all

The place scented with the sweet smell of the morning air
The place scented with the sweet need of sleep at night
The place where all becomes one and one becomes all

Silence is the only respectable reaction to there
Absorb the sunset, the dawn and the life that makes this place breathe
Breathe in the scent of the morning and the green of the evening.

Though I found my son's poem on his Facebook this past week, he told me today he wrote this a few years ago, when he was in high school. He gave me his "okay" that I could post it here.