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Saturday, March 3, 2007

A LIFE TO LOOK BACK ON with its FUN & the PAIN














































Poems from my past time, here. . . . just know that I'm
not in the mood of these poems, at the present time. I am in such a great place in my life, now.


Justified Anger

I’m tired.

I’m tired of thinking that everyone knows better than me.

I’m tired of feeling drained by the love I’ve never been extended.

I don’t want my own self-pity.

In my mind I constantly attempt to justify that what I feel,

what I think,

what I reason,

with so much contemplation,

while trying so hard to be fair to everyone else.

I am constantly wanting SOMEONE to see the good in me.


But everyone that I have poured so much heart into

has just turned their backs on me.

I cried every day.

Tonight I have been crying slow hot tears,

crying overpowering, intense tears, feeling a big sucking hole in my chest.

I hurt

And nobody cares, but me.

I think my pain is okay.

My pain is right.

I don’t owe anyone justification for this hurt.

He cuts my spirit up.

All of the things that I have done to make a connection to him have simply failed.

I am devastated by him.

Stunned.

If he intentionally mapped out a plan to break my heart, he couldn’t have been smoother.

I am so angry. So hurt. So confounded. So betrayed.



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Found, Not Lost

Are You dangling? Are you holding on to life?

Are you here?

Being-fully-alive?


Finding myself has been a journey.


And I love where the journey has led me.

Losing myself has never happened.


Thank you.


Denying parts of my self
never seemed right to me

although encouraged.


"I Will Not Be Broken..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hplvz3XdeKw


Being some thing other than what I am
just seems pointless to me,

but so many do it that way.

If I’m going to work hard at something, it might as well be,
being the authentic me,

not a pretentious me.


In the end of either of those two choices,

Consider
a pretentious person.

Who is she?

What does she know about herself?


What does she love about herself?


How can she take what she knows about herself
and relate it to others?


How can she feel? How can life move through her?
How can she receive life?


What does she really know?

What is real to a pretentious person?




An authentic person.

Who is she?

What does she know about herself?


What does she love about herself?


How can she take what she knows about herself
and relate it to others?


How can she feel? How can life move through her?
How can she receive life?


What does she really know?

What is real to an authentic person?



Which one will you be?


Betrayal of your self is the worst betrayal.


In the name of what, would anyone choose to pretend who she is?


Great pretenders are also great at denying what they feel.

Denying what you feel will kill you.

Some pretend to be authentic,

but it’s still pretending.



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"Once we believe in ourselves . . .

we can risk

curiosity . . .

wonder . . .

. . . and spontaneous delight

or any experience

that reveals

the human spirit.

Opening up

a way

of touching . . .

and judging:


Hills can be obstacles or glorious delight. When a child asks about God,
what God do we name?

Someone 'up there' . . . ?
an invisible person . . . ?

Why not answer with
the experience of love
wonder
creativity
that invites children
to discover something new
in themselves
for
whatever opens us
to become more human
is flesh
of the God we can know.

. . . . . . Instead of asking:
'How should I pray?'
we should ask:
'How can I grow?'
How do I touch
what is most real in myself
and others -

That something
which ties us into the world
and life?

How do we open out
to a sight
a touch
a whisper of joy
up
and
down
the spine -

Drawing these

into our faith-experience
of God-with-us?

Why not let life itself
teach us how to pray?

Developing a 'feel for life'

is
developing a 'feel for God.'

. . . . . . God touches us
in the same way that the world
and other people
touch us -

Calling,

inviting us


to become more open,


to become more human.


If we answer with all that we are -

and hope to be -


then to live

is to live in faith

that we have found
and
are
at one
with

an incarnate God.

The meadow is not God
you are not God
the patterned morning freshness
is not God.

BUT
to
O P E N ... Y O U R S E L F

to meadow and morning,

to what is before you


is to find Emmanuel, to know God-with-us


as
life
in
the
moment.

We know this
in moments of beauty. . . "

from the book "Please Touch"
by Edwin M. McMahon and Peter A. Campbell


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"to believe in God is to know the thing you are shall make you live
and it will never make you do anything less. . . . . .

to believe in God is to be one of those kids who just refuses
to grow up and get older and older and die forever."

from Joseph Pintauro's little book "to believe in god", illustrated by Sister Corita Kent

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“We are All the Keepers of Justice.
. . . . . OR not.”
Sandra Hammel, aka ilovemylife

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peacepeacepeacepeacewillnotworkifjustonemanaliveisunjustignoranthungrycrazyashamed
Joseph Pintauro


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"The Glory of God is Man Fully Alive."
St. Irenaeus of Lyons


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"We think of religious activity as directed toward God - instead of man.
We believe in someone divine rather than in ourselves.
Maybe we have turned religion inside-out."
Please Touch Edwin M. McMahon & Peter A. Campbell



"The strong can not expect the weak to placate them
and call it healing."
Sandra Hammel, aka ilovemylife

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PLEASE
, sign the petition of Amazing Changes Campaign
http://www.theamazingchange.com/abolish.html

Let's do more than love the movie, "AMAZING GRACE". Let us be inspired to act.
To act with our own "will" and "force" of passion, conviction and knowing the truth.

“Loose Change to Loosen Chains”
Use your loose change to free slaves around the world.
Email Zach Hunter, a fifteen year old, who wants to put an end to world-wide slavery
Tell him know what you are doing in your community to end slavery:
contact@theamazingchange.com

His website:
http://www.myspace.com/amazingchange
:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>:>>:>:>:

REAL "news" is that the Genocide in Darfur
, Sudan is Four Years Old February 2007.
Divest all mutual funds from Sudan
http://www.genocideintervention.net/
Use Your Voice & YOUR Amazing Grace to Stand Up & Stand Out
Against Human to Human Disaster = Genocide.
Being Human means being Amazing with Grace

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4 Comments:

At March 3, 2007 at 9:06:00 AM EST , Blogger Yumiko said...

Hello ilovemylife

my name is Yumiko
I am a fan of Mr.Luke MacFarlane.
I am a member of yahoo group which Kong made.

Thank you for your kind words on Luke's yahoo group's board.

I want to say thank you.

Yumiko from Japan

 
At March 4, 2007 at 12:33:00 AM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...

Yumiko,

Thank you for coming to my blog, here. The picture you put on your blog of Kyoto is appreciated. It is beautiful.

ilovemylife

 
At March 4, 2007 at 10:06:00 AM EST , Blogger Yumiko said...

Hello Dear ilovemylife

Thank you so much for vising my blog and leaving a message on my blog.

Thank you for your kind and generous offer about
helping me about English language.

I am very very very gratful to you
Thank you very very much!!!!!!
.ilovemylife.!!!!

I have to be honest with you first,,,
I am sorry to bother you ...with my depressing story,,,,
I am a....sick person...
I have been seeing the doctor..
So...I can not be on line....on the Internet world...so often..
I do not have any fun and exciting stories of my own....
...I do not want to disturb you...
but,,,I want to help you and answer you about Japan...
I will try to answer your question about Japan as much as I can. in English.
Here is my e-mail adress
qbpysnp99@yahoo.com

I like seeing your blog.
I learn English from your blog.
... my English skills are very poor..
and,,,,I do not like studying...
I am a very lazy person....
but,,,I like English Language..

my blog is not fun...
I do not have any fun stories to share with you...
I am sorry...


I like yours.!

.lovely
.beautiful
and
I learn a lot from your blog.
I am happy and glad and enjoy your blog.
I can not read everything but...I like your blog.


I am very glad that you saw Kyoto Picture.

I notice you wrote about Mr.John Mayer song's lyrics
he can speak Japanese.
here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_A9pdLYtvQ



here is the videos about Japanese Cultures.
her videos are very accurate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yLrAmrLkUQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9VcgZE4NHQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQo6BmfnUk8
I still can not understand everything she said ....though,,,


..I wrote too much.
Thank you for everything. ilovemylife

Yumiko from Japan
March 5th 2007
AM12:05

 
At March 4, 2007 at 3:46:00 PM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...

Dear Yumiko,

What a wonderful job writing to me in English. You no longer need to explain that your English is bad because it looks just fine to me!

I am so very sorry about your health. It is so easy to take good health for granted and poor health is depressing. So try to stay as positive as you are able.

I already checked out John Mayer's Japanese speaking on Youtube. Thanks for sharing that with me. I love John Mayer's hair! : )

I will take a look at the Japanese Youtubes.

So, where did you first learn about Luke MacFarlane? Was it on my blog or some other place?

I hope you are blessed today in some small way. And if I can make your day better, I am happy to do so.

ilovemylife

 

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