Monday, January 8, 2007

My TV BROTHERS and SISTERS Family Makes It Real

Thoughts after viewing BROTHERS and SISTERS episode "Family Day"

After hearing by way of phone about my own family dysfunctional drama this weekend, it was so nice to sit down and watch my TV family, Brothers and Sisters, vocally duke it out in a believable functional-dysfunctional way in the “Family Day” episode. If only my family . . . well could put two sentences together about their feelings without crushing the other person . . . My script has me smack dab in the middle. I’m the one they each take their turns, turning to when the chips are down. Of course, none of them has ever been my soft place to fall. And certainly never my rock. How did I get this role? I’m the exiled sister and daughter living on the east coast with a brother on Maui, a sister in Indiana where we all were raised, a mother who has put my father in an institution for the rest of his life, while she lives . . . well some of this stuff is coming out in my book. : ) : I :.. ( I don’t know . . . I am in such a great place in my life, with such balance and acceptance of my exile status. I mean, I can’t change how the members in my family judge my life, and having a choice of trying to placate them or living my own life – I choose living my own life. Too bad it took me so-o-o long to be this happy with my self and my life - and stopping the waiting for their acceptance.

The thing is I am the one that has taken the “turn” most of the adult years to get blamed for keeping the family from being a perfect family. I’ve been hailed the sinful daughter, the wayward one. Now I’m basically immuned from their opinions of me. They don’t shake me up anymore, I find. I know who I am. And I really like me. There isn’t anyone I’d rather be than me. Just like to be in my thirties again. You know, so the guys that flip my heart over would be within some sort of reality range of connecting for at least a date. No one believes me when I tell them my age. My talk therapist tells me to stop telling people how many years I’ve lived. I know I look 10 years younger than what I am, but still, what beautiful guy wants to date someone old enough to be their mother? : ) Okay, enough.

What is so surreal is I got this call out of the blue this weekend from one of the exilers. While I’ve learned to live out here in exile status and find my true state of bliss while out here, my older brother now feels some commisserative kinship because he thinks he finally has experienced what I’ve gone through my whole life.

One thing I love being is ”out there”. . . being me without all those reservations, without the limits imposed by a mother who hasn’t a clue who I am and definitely at a loss as to who she is. I love when I see the Walkers talk to each other even in the hot, flawed ways that they do, because it is refreshing to see that happening even if it’s not my own family. They feel like family. And personally I have experienced communication actually working in hot and tense situations, just never within my family of brother, sister and mother.

This is scary even for me to put this out in the universe, but I’m set on this thing of fully being alive and living my life out loud. I don’t make this stuff up.



At January 8, 2007 at 4:48:00 AM EST , Blogger Kong said...

Love your blog as always. :)

I wish I could have a big family but being an only child is really sad for me, so I never experience the type of fights and bickering a big family goes through. I kinda want that feel and sense of family life. But I'm just by myself and my parents. It's a lonely world too. If it weren't for my friends, I would lose all hope in reality.

This is why watching the Walker clan is like watching an extended family. They are so part of me that I can almost feel their passion and pain. It's what I long for for many years, and that's why I advocate this series, not just because I'm a big Luke MacFarlane fan, but because I love the interpersonal relationships this show presents to their viewers.

At January 8, 2007 at 11:24:00 PM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...


I empathize with you about being an only child. I have heard from a dear friend that it is lonely.

There's that Bette Midler song, (You've Got to Have) "Friends" on her THE DIVINE MISS M" album that I’ve been thinking of lately due to my life. Friends are precious gifts. We all need to feel connected.

Did you like the episode “Family Day”? Really looking forward to Kevin getting his love life going. I’ve been watching the newspaper here, because Massachusetts is at a crossroads regarding putting the Gay Marriage question on the ballot in 2008, making marriage only for 1 man + 1 woman.

Tuesday night, I’ll be hoping that BROTHERS AND SISTERS wins the People’s Choice Award. Fingers crossed.

At January 9, 2007 at 3:14:00 PM EST , Blogger Kong said...

Hello ILoveMyLife!

I'm so sad that another one of my post didn't get posted on Bloggers & Sisters. I thanked them for bringing back Scotty for episode 14 and I can't wait to watch it! And, it didn't even get posted. :( I hope you read the announcement from my fansite mailing list. This is good news for me because we'll get to see Luke on screen in February! :)

Anyway, I love "Family Day". Was one of the best episodes since "Date Night" written by Molly Newman & David Marshall Grant. Awesome episode and I really think the argument between the family members at the therapy session family gathering was the best part.

I also liked how Kevin referred to his own future marriage 20 years down the road when he's "mature enough" to settle down and get married. I also like Kitty's retort later on about him ever finding a man to settle down before he can even bring up the topic of gay marriage. I love their bickering. This is what I enjoy.

I have no idea why people think marriage is a religious constitution. It's not religious. It's an event of property transferring. And back in the days, women were chattel (aka property). So what in hell is all this prattle about marriage traditionalism? Marriage traditionalism means dowry, and selling off your daughters to the highest bidder suitors. That was what marriage was like in many cultures and civilizations.

I hope Massachusetts Supreme Court deems that amendment unconstitutional. It's ridiculous that politicians pander to such lowest denominators of bigots.

I also wish B&S would win tonight's PCA award for BEst Drama. Crossing my fingers indeedy! :)

At January 10, 2007 at 12:19:00 AM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...

Dear Kong,

Would you rather I call you Kong or KC?

Well, we lost PCA tonight. I was so hoping.

I liked the Kevin-Kitty scenes in Family Day. Finally, I warmed up to Calista in this episode. Kevin really got to show different sides in FD: the child-like reaction to Justin selling his collectible then catching himself when he realized he was being immature, the serious and studious taking on of the gay marriage subject and taking it to Kitty at the family table, the cute and adorable scene where he enters his sister’s bedroom and shows his soft side, his scene with Justin in the gazebo where he is self-absorbed. When you think about it – the writers gave him quite an episode to show a lot of himself. Now – I’m so ready to see what they have for us with this not-Scotty-but-at-least-some-love-action next Sunday night.

Yes, I agree with you about the marriage history. Nothing holy or religious about owning human property. I have my own “hang-ups” about marriage. Having experienced it when in my early twenties - although the day before I told the guy I wasn’t feeling right about going through with it – six months later we started what became “divorce counseling.” Every other relationship ever since has been as a nonconformist. I blaze my own trail. Therefore – exile status in the family. But what a colorful and dynamic life I’ve had the pleasure of living.

Massachusetts Supreme Court already made a ruling about gay marriage - that is why it is legal. However, they have in effect chastised the Massachusetts legislature for not following up their ruling with related legislation on gay marriage. So it was left by the old legislature as undone, now the newer legislature is left with the question of putting it on the 2008 ballot in the form of defining marriage as 1 woman + 1 man for the voters to vote on.

I was wondering about Kitty, being a Republican and her sex life. Maybe, in California it is different, but I grew up in conservative Indiana in a die-hard Republican family, where sex outside of marriage was not only frowned upon, but I got condemned to hell. Maybe, it’s not just the Republican thing but the religious thing, too.

About them not posting your great news about Luke/Scotty in episode 14 (geez that’s coming up real soon – oh BOY!) . . . wouldn’t it be interesting if your news and my posting that was pulled could be entwined at some point (probably next year) on the show? Some love triangle with Luke back in the mix. I would love that. Maybe there will some “cliff hanger” at the end of the season about Kevin and Scotty. Gets MY heart pumping. What’s with me?! : ) Anyway, I think they want to hold things pretty tight to the vest and try to keep the masses guessing. We’re just too smart for them! : )

At January 15, 2007 at 4:04:00 AM EST , Blogger Kong said...

Hi Ilovemylife,

Sorry for not getting back to you sooner. So much to do and to keep the fans satiated and interested in Luke while also entertaining my own love for Luke has kept me a busy man.

But I love "Family Day" and "Sexual Politics" and next episode is "Something Ida This Way Comes" looks to be a funny episode. :)

So what did you think of the new "kiss" between Chad & Kevin? Did you enjoy it? I thought the kiss was great but the scene itself has little to be desired with the weird pan out. Jason Lewis did do a great job kissing, even though he said he was hesistant and uncomfortable.

Btw, your post about a love triangle was removed? Huh? You may have touched on a future plot device that they didn't want anyone to note. I think that's why they removed yours. That's so weird....maybe they are setting it up for a love triangle. Because they only remove "spoiler" posts if it is true or close to their script point. OMG, that would be a killer plot for me. I think I would die if that happened.

Btw, again, I hope you're enjoying my fansite. I do my best to keep people interested. Hope you love seeing the new screencaps of B&S. It's fun doing them for people.

Not quite sure what else to say....um....I love to read what you write. Very refreshing. Write often. :)

Oh, and call me either Kong or KC...I only used KC because I've always been ashamed/embarrassed by my name for a long time. I'm slowly letting it go and now am not shy about it as I used to be.

At January 16, 2007 at 12:51:00 PM EST , Blogger Red7Eric said...

Hey there -- I wasn't even aware that the show was airing new episodes!! Luckily, my Digital Video Recorder is smarter than I am and recorded them both. Haven't watched the latest one yet, but did see "Family Day" and actually teared up -- twice!! -- during the two rehab scenes. Great show.

I also know what you mean about your exile status. My family loves me and I them, but as the gay son on the East Coast, I am something of a black sheep.

Back to the show for a second: Why didn't Kitty just tell Kevin what Rob Lowe said about the gay marriage question?? She seemed almost to delight in making a decision that would rile him, so as to assert her independence or something. And until last night, I always thought Kitty was the oldest -- wonder why. Hm.

At January 17, 2007 at 7:59:00 AM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...


Yes! I do enjoy your hard work on your Luke MacFarlane website. The only way I can enjoy some of it is when I go to the Portsmouth Public Library - it's the only one that has the updated software AND I don't have high speed. But, I am planning on getting high speed within the next 2 or 3 weeks. That will be so cool for me. I need someplace to host my music and hopefully blogspot will enable me to include it here.

I think you are right about the pulling of my post - probably just something similar to what they might do. It was up for at least 24 hours before it was pulled. I used the name Carl in my fiction and I noticed someone on the crew is named Carl. Wouldn't that be something if a "Carl" showed up in Kevin's personal life? I have that posting on my hard drive. My story had, in effect, a double love triangle - but all males, involved. I hope sometime they DO have an all-male love triangle. And that they are allowed to give us more than short glimpses of a kiss. The stuff we have seen with Julia and Tommy or even Nora and David, the contractor, are in another category than the hasty kiss scene peaks we've had.

I put up a new posting overnight as ilovemylife over at http://www.tvguide.com
about the episode "Sexual Politics"
It's my #8 posting at tvguide. Check it out when you get a chance. I posted a link to your fan site for you.

I think your name is cool. Own it with pride. I didn't know that was your actual name.

Have you been over at Ellen.com to sign up for winning Red Carpet tickets for the Academy Awards? I have, every day. I don't know what I'll do if I win them! You win two tickets if you win.

When is Luke's birthday?
What does he want for his birthday?

At January 17, 2007 at 8:36:00 AM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...


Yes, Kitty hopefully still will tell Kevin that Senator MacCalliter's vote will be no problem for his sensibilities and convictions. I'm quite sure that will happen. But, you're right in that "sooner" would have been more sensitive and compassionate on her part than "later". As I said in my Brothers and Sisters "Northern Exposure" review over at http://www.tv.com, it seems that Kevin is expected to understand his siblings's views and have more empathy for his family members than they show for him with his life which requires him to "blaze his own trail", in actual fact. And sometimes in an antagonistic environment. Even I rankle at some of the family jabs and one-liners that he receives.

Yes, we have new shows on Brothers and Sisters. Thank goodness you have automatic pilot with your technology. Let me know what you think of "Sexual Politics". There has been some serious criticism about it at abc.go.com at the Bloggers and Sisters blog.

D.C. is a great city. I had a friend since college who lived in D.C., where he first worked in Senator Paul Simon's office. But he has moved away, recently. I've been a few times.

I'm thrilled with Barak Obama's move yesterday. I cringe every time George's voice comes on the TV. I couldn't handle listening to his speech last week. The BBC had the news on last night about Barak for the world to see. CNN was ridiculous in their "shop talk" about Barak last night.

Great sharing with you.

At January 17, 2007 at 6:18:00 PM EST , Blogger ilovemylife said...


The birth order is
S arah
K itty
T ommy
K evin
J ustin
R ebecca

I got this information from the episode “Glass Jumps” aka "Mistakes Were Made, Part I"

Oh, thanks for your response via MyBlogLog today.


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