Monday, August 30, 2010


I went to an audition tonight and I am making an attempt to re-enter life to feel normalized after an emotionally-charged event - an audition. We sat there and watched and listened to everyone audition. It was posted on their website to start at 6:30 p.m., but it was well under way when I arrived at 6:15 p.m. After being there for five minutes, I felt like leaving. I am no good at singing in public, but I have been trying to put myself out there.

I had recorded my own accompaniment and took a cd player to use, if they allowed it. But I was told "no, we want to hear you sing with a live pianist", although another auditioner sang without any accompaniment.

We were to sing one upbeat song and one ballad - only 16 measures of each.

My first song was good considering I didn't lose control of being relaxed, as is my typical behavior. That didn't happen until the second song. I suppose part of that was me, but part of that was the accompanist. He was good, but he didn't know how to "blues" up the music for Bring It On Home to Me - a Sam Cooke song. And I am used to the accompaniment that way. At first I thought he was playing it too fast, but I tried to slow him down and it still wasn't working. It was more the style he was playing. Too many notes, too fancy for a simple bluesy song. It overpowered the spirit of the song and I couldn't "feel" the music as I do when I sing and accompany myself. There is soul in the music and he was putting no soul in the way he play the keyboard. You get used to things that allow you to feel the music, meaning I can get lost in the music and not be so conscious of those watching me. And that is when my breathing gets nervous - when I start thinking of all eyes on me. And once that happens it is hard to reign in the nerves and sing relaxed. So the notes start to shake. I can't hold out anything longer than long enough to sing the syllable, because sustaining the note makes the shaking voice so evident.

Surprisingly the applause was long enough to keep going until I got to the back of the room where I had been seated. And one of auditioners, turned around and gave me a thumbs up and an affirmative "that was good". But it wasn't good. Because I do it so much better at home. With soul. Relaxed. Not tensing up the throat. So, tight sounds were coming out.

I asked one of the three "judges" at break time, if there would be more auditions later and she said yes. I said, I wanted to try again because I hadn't done too well. And her body language seemed to say otherwise. We'll see. But, the second song really didn't make me feel successful.

But I tried.

And that is good.


Uploaded by ilovemylifesblog
This is better watching it at Youtube. You won't get the black bars at the top and bottom, there. Double click the video and it will take you to Youtube.

This work is a work in progress and is in rough cut form at this time, so I ask you to honor my request not embed, link anywhere or download it, until I get the final cut done. I am reserving these things for myself. My Apple computer is in the repair shop at the moment, so I can’t work on it. But I want to share what I have so far with all who also love this beautiful part of Planet Earth.

I’ll see how this “honor system” request works.

This video is to show my love for where I live. Most of the video clips and photographs were shot in Newport, Rhode Island with others being shot in the adjacent town of Middletown. I live in the town of Portsmouth, but claim Aquidneck Island as my home. Aquidneck Island includes three small towns: Newport, Middletown and Portsmouth.

I have no credits on the video itself at this time.


Al Green ~ ”Here I Am”

Odetta ~ “Hear Me Talking to You” from the CD Blues Everywhere I Go

Please support artists who don't ban youtube use.


Videogaphy and photography ~ Sandra Hammel

The opening song is extracted from video that I took at the Newport Jazz Festival, August 12, 2007. It is Al Green singing “Here I Am” as clips of him singing at the 2007 festival are edited in. The view after showing Al sing is the view the artists see from the main stage at Fort Adams park.

Included in the tribute video:

Newport Jazz Festival at Fort Adams State Park

Narragansett Bay – views from many places, including a ride on a sailboat

showing the shoreline of Newport

Views of Jamestown on Conanicut Island

Eastons Beach, also known as Newport Beach, First Beach

Newport Bridge – renamed The Claiborne Pell Bridge

Island Moving Company on St. George’s – prep school lawn

Black Ships Festival Taiko Drumming – New York City group

Touro Park’s stone structure

Brenton Cove

Sachuest Beach, also known as Second Beach

Sachuest Wildlife Refuge

Third Beach

Newport Art Museum

One of the Darfur events I have organized include:

Americas Cup Avenue

Washington Square – important scenes of Steven Spielberg’s “Amistad” were shot here

See link below

Cliff Walk and views from it

Trinity Church

Touro Synagogue

The International Tennis Hall of Fame grounds

Goat Island

Ocean DriveBrenton Point Park view

Newport National Golf Course

Ida Lewis Yacht Club

Views from Kings Park

My beloved sunset and cloud photos

My son when he was 11 years old

Ducks at Brenton Cove



Washington Square


Church at corner of Spring Street and Memorial Boulevard ~ where JFK and Jackie were married


Jamestown, Rhode Island – great website


Newport's tourist website

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