ilovemylife: LYRICS BY SANDRA HAMMEL ~ "...Needing no where to go, Because I'm already here..."

I am working through my feelings of being finally old. I have never wanted to be older than I am. When most kids looked forward to being older so that they could do certain things, I was feeling different. I never wanted to be older than I was. And most of my life I looked younger than I was. When I was substitute teaching in my early career as a teacher, another teacher approached me thinking I was a high school student and I had to tell him that I was a substitute teacher hired to work that day in the school that he taught in.

I have been journaling about this. Every day I look in the mirror and want to see the younger me. Now, I find I want to be a different age. Just not older. I often yell out when I am home alone: "I don't want to be old." But something has happened that I have said that if I can solve it about my health, that I will accept being old.

I am contemplating starting a new blog just on this subject. There are many of us in my generation that are walking into old age. And I can't be the only one that feels like I do. But in the meantime, here I post about this subject. I wrote a song about it called "More Alive". And below are some lyrics that I wrote today, but the music hasn't been attempted yet.

If anyone wants to repost my lyrics, please keep in mind that my name should be with the lyrics and a link to this post. It is only the right thing to do. And it would be good to put this up and trust you.

NOW

by Sandra Hammel
April 10, 2011, Sunday, 5:12 p.m.

All the things we do, so we can live tomorrow,
we can live tomorrow,
so little thought in living today,
living today.
What's in the worry that serves us well?
What's in the moment that freely can accept joy?
The beautiful?

I don't want to feel guilty because I feel wholly here.
Because I feel free to live outside what is inside,
Free to feel,
Free to fly,
Free to know today and know I'm home.
Needing no where to go.
Because I'm already here.
Needing no where to go.
Out "there" is all right here.

❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧❧

I had so much fun working on this video posted below. It is from a movie camera that is before movie cameras had sound. And if it weren't for my video teacher who demolished the plastic cartridge that the original film was in and then gave me this in a form that I could post it at Youtube, Vimeo and Facebook, I would be limited to seeing it on my wall at home with the old movie camera that "burns" a lot of the films that I have in these old cartridges. The color was so poor, that I added a lot of sepia in the iMovie software and it looks like it has very little color this way, but it is better than the overly pink rendition that is was in.

❧TERROR WALKS TONIGHT ~ One Act Play ❧

❧ NEWPORT PLAYERS GUILD ❧

❧ CASINO THEATRE ❧

❧ NEWPORT, RHODE ISLAND ❧

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❧This is one of my many callings in life!! Comedian. ❧This play was presented in the 1927 Casino Theatre sometime in the mid 1970's before the $5.2 million renovation completed in 2010. For 23 years the theatre was shut due to structural safety hazards. Actors Charlton Heston, Vincent Price and Orson Welles had acted on this stage. It was used as storage space for the International Tennis Hall of Fame (which share the grounds with the famed theatre) and was collecting cobwebs and dust. Sandra Hammel, Newport, Rhode Island, USA

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Screen shots from the video