I love to write in my journals. I only have 3 blank pages left, so journal number 21 is about to begin. I write a lot to gain clarity, process personal pain, write about social injustice, the needs of children. And my son. Many books from past years are full of relationships that now as I read those pages, I realize I tried too hard to make something work that wasn't destined to work.
Today I wrote to my son in my journal...
September 20, 2009
1:45 p.m.
A stray sentence once in a while in the times we have been together over the years, I have heard you say or merely mention your saxophone, your clarinet, heard you recently read your own poetry that you obviously felt drawn to do –
Please bear with me so I can say to you – it seems to me to be apparent that your playing music, your writing, is a way for you to feel more yourself, lets you feel your soul in a way that is uniquely you.
Be aware of this specialness. Always be aware, the gift of doing these things, where art can be a “home” for your spirit, your heart, your soul. Don’t let the busyness of life cheat you out of being in your art, whatever it is – music, writing, drawing, creating. “Being” in these art moments will bring you more joy, peace, depth of feeling than the business of life can ever mimic.
You are your destiny. The universe is unfolding you and for you. Be mindful of it. It will be a source of joy, contentment, sustenance and freedom from anxiety.
Always be listening for the destiny’s voices. The destiny happens when we let it.
In a way, it is our job to be happy, to be kind. All else is a form of waiting for these moments.
End of Journal entry
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The Four Feathers - DVD Special Feature segment 4 - 8:15
At 4:13 " Eastern philosophies fundamentally say that ... human beings are stronger if they embrace their destinies. They believe that destiny is given. And therefore, your strength, your honor, your dignity, your purpose in life lies in your embracing your destiny." Shekhar Kapur, Director of The Four Feathers
Uploaded by springrose147
I encourage my son to follow his dreams. I hope that he will.
I haven't always followed mine front and center. But I have always been nearby the dreams. Never completely off the track. I have followed my heart, confused as it has been, at times. I have been honest with myself.
Recently, I had a "SoulProfile" done. A Soul Profile lists lifetimes lived before, where my soul originated and other places I have visited and the gifts that I have gained from those places. Whether others believe in such things, is a personal thing, like other beliefs. When I was in my early twenties and taking a required course in philosophy at an extremely conservative fundamentalist Christian college, it came to me that believing is a personal thing, in that, where we choose to draw the line of what to live by is arbitrary for the most part. As someone who was raised to be a fundamental Christian, including the dos and don'ts of my parents' beliefs - I was searching for my own principles of what to live my life by.
I threw out the don'ts of don't: dance, wear make-up of any kind, go to movies, wear jewelry, conservative everything... and the limitations of what a female should and shouldn't do. The don'ts of what is acceptable got a major overhaul by me. In my family, I am the odd one out. I am okay with that because I have no other choice. I have followed my destiny. I am at "home" with my music, my writing, my creating. I am most alive at times that I am in touch with my rawest and deepest parts of my spirit. It is a time of communion with my destiny, my universe.
We are breathing energy and the fact that the universe is like a big complex energy field, makes it acceptable for me - to believe we are part of the universe of energy. And just because we are life forms as human beings, that doesn't mean that there aren't other life forms that manifest differently from our physical forms.
The centering thought for me
I think the most important thing is to be kind. Kind to ourselves and kind to others. Kindness is always welcome.
People who are closest to being themselves are the ones I want to be in the presence of.
I like this story...
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive. But the Skin Horse only smiled.
"The Boy's Uncle made me Real," he said. "That was a great many years ago; but once you are Real you can't become unreal again. It lasts for always."
Read the full story: http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/williams/rabbit/rabbit.html
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The Four Feathers is probably my favorite movie with Heath Ledger. And that is saying a lot. Although he lived a short life, he played his roles with such realness. Such authenticity. He let the characters come through him as he was their vessel. This movie's story has such depth. It is about destiny and finding yourself with the willingness to do what it takes to do so.
I highly recommend The Four Feathers and watching its special features. Below are some of the special features uploaded by springrose147.
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The Four Feathers - DVD Special Feature segment 1 - 7:50
Uploaded by springrose147
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The Four Feathers - DVD Special Feature segment 2 - 8:03
Uploaded by springrose147
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The Four Feathers - DVD Special Feature segment 3- 7:58
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Embracing more than western religion
Click on post title to go to Joseph Campbell talking with Bill Moyers talking of Faith and Religion - Perspectives. Included there, is text as well as audio.
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