WHAT I DID FOR LOVE - I DID FOR ME, REALLY

Has anyone not done something irrational regarding what we think is love? I certainly have. Not proud of some. And of those – some bother me and some don’t. They are just experiences at this point. Some fun memories. Fond memories, that make bright moments in my life now. The past is never really gone. And some past times are just as strong today as they ever were when experienced the first time. It is interesting what clings to our sense of who we are. At the heart, our lives are only moments. It’s sort of like a great symphony, say like Beethoven’s Ninth…not that any of it is bad, but there is always the climax, the forces are all about getting there. And there is fun, drama and emotional roller coasters - getting there, and it is simply bursting, outloud-fun or even ecstasy, when you are in the midst of the climactic bursts of dynamic emotions. When we are young and going through the youthful loves, we don’t realize that those will be our memories that can really be so welcome later on in the stories that we have lived and shared. I am so happy that I had all of those “loves”. What a life! Never been bored my whole life. Not even now. If I had a choice, I would still be in my youthful thirties – they are the best in some ways. But life is a moving thing. And if we are lucky, we live out all of the seasons of life.

What I did for love, I have done to find myself. And now I am that self, that I was afforded to find, even though no lover is sharing my life with me at this time. But as I have said many times, I am not lonely. Life has been good to me. And I am grateful. It is always best to be your own best friend and companion. I laugh at myself consistently. I find humor in my own behavior when I can look at it and see that I am not totally sensical. I have always been somewhat insecure. I have always cared if people like me, but even that is ridiculous because no one really knows me in a full sense. But I do. And I dare to say "outloud" that I like me.
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What I Did For Love from A Chorus Line
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Mikhail Baryshnikov doing the finale of "A Chorus Line" with the cast from "Baryshnikov on Broadway" with Liza Minnelli - 1980

Check out the link by moving your mouse over the title: WHAT I DID FOR LOVE - I DID FOR ME, REALLY for Kate Hepburn's reading of a letter to her love, Spencer Tracy, 18 years after he had died in 1967.